After their conversation things got better between David and his step-sister. The stories were forgotten, for while, and summer went on. David spend a lot of time getting used to having nothing to do for a while and he did a lot of swimming and driving down to the beach with his old friends. He invited Sara, too and sometimes she came along, though she was shy around David’s older friends.
Just lounging around didn’t suit David very well. He was the kind of person who needed to do things and soon he got the idea of taking a road trip with some of his friends. He packed up some things, including his laptop and drove up the coast for a getaway. It was in the hotel that he got his first email from Sara.
Since you’re gone I thought this would be a good time to write you about that stuff we talked about. I have been writing this story for a while and I’m not sure exactly where to go with it. It’s probably stupid. Just take a look, ok? Give me some feedback.
I hope you are having fun with your friends. Your friend Lucy seems like she likes you. She’s cute! You should put the moves on her.
My cousin always liked to wrestle. I liked it too, although I think for different reasons. I remember when we were young I would follow him around and then with a laugh and a scream attack him out of nowhere. He would grab me and before I could even say a word I would be on the floor and he would be on top of me.
I remember when I was younger his weight on top of me would be so much it would take my breath away. I remember how I liked it, too. I would squirm and struggle under him and then just stop, panting and smiling stupidly. It would make me feel warm in my chest and lower. There was something about the way it felt when his hands were on my wrists and his weight was on top of me. My step-brother Danny just thought it was funny. His little step-sister thinking she could wrestle him or so I thought.
I remember when he started college and we were spending less and less time together, but we always watched television on Saturday morning. I always wanted cartoons and he wanted reruns of adventure shows like the A-Team or Knight Rider. We would be okay for a while, just sitting there watching passively, but then we would get into an argument about what to watch and he would grab the remote from me.
That one Saturday he did just that and just like I always did, I jumped on him. I was a little stronger now and it took him more then a second to pin me, but soon enough we were tumbling off the couch and falling to the floor laughing and wrestling. I giggled as he grabbed the remote and threw it away from us. Then his hands were on my wrists and he was holding me down.
I felt warm in my stomach as I laughed and then I felt it, hard against me.
It was his cock.
I froze and so did he. He let go of me and stood up, his face red.
He said something silly about television and then said he was going to go get some cereal, but I cut my eyes at him and smiled.
“You got hard wrestling with me!” I said laughing.
“I did not! Oh please…” but he was caught, he was beet red.
“You were too!” I said, pointing at his crotch, which seemed only slightly bulging. He sat down and covered his crotch.
“I was not.. I mean… your shirt was just… I mean…”
I looked down at my shirt. I was wearing a tank top and some old shorts. The tank top had very big holes for my arms. “The arm hole… “ he tried to explain, but just blushed.
I laughed at him and I looked at the arm hole of my shirt.
“Did it… like… move too far?”
I pulled my shirt and pulled the arm hole in a little, showing the side of my breast.
He watched, silenced.
It felt good, like I was holding him down now. He wasn’t in control, I was.
“Did it move more? Could you see…”
I pushed my chest out and pulled my shirt until my left boob popped out. Then we were silent, the line had been crossed and we weren’t sure what was going to happen next. He was sitting on the couch and I was kneeling on the floor looking at him and my breast was out and my nipple was getting hard in the cold air of the tv room. “You can touch it if you want to.” I said, looking at his hand covering his crotch.
“I shouldn’t.” he said, trying to look away but his eyes were glued on me.
“You can… I won’t tell.”
Then I crawled to him on my knees until I was leaning against his legs.
“Come on Danny… just once… aren’t you curious what it feels like? It’s just…”
Then my words were cut off as his hand cupped my breast. His hand was hot and he squeezed very gently. His thumb rubbed around the pink circles around my nipple and I felt my stomach flutter. Suddenly I wanted him to be rough again, to wrestle me now, to hold me down again.
“How does it feel?” I asked, my throat suddenly dry.
He squeezed it a little harder, weighing it in his hand. My breasts were sort of large for my age because I was kind of chubby. They were sensitive too and his hand felt amazing on it. Then there was the fact that he was my step-brother and this was all so… forbidden.
“Soft…” he said in a rough whisper.
I pulled the other side of my shirt in and held my shirt between my breasts. His other hand came up instantly and grabbed my other breasts. He squeezed them and his finger and thumb came together on my nipples and that made me moan a little.
“You can like… kiss them. If you want.”
I watched his face as his hands continued squeezing. I could see him debating whether to do it or not.
“We should.. stop.”
And then his hands were off me and I let go of my shirt and then he was standing in front of me. I was cold without the warmth of his hands.
“I… I’m going to go outside.”
And then he was gone.
In his hotel room David sat at the small table near the window and stared at his laptop. His friends were down eating breakfast and he had decided to just take a few minutes to check his mail.
He read over the story again. It was just a scrap of a story, he shouldn’t have been breathing hard and straining against his jeans, but she wrote it. His step-sister thought these things and wrote them down. The slippery and powerful poison spilled into his veins again. The lust and the guilt and the embarrassment all mixing and swirling.
They had wrestled, though not many times. It was all just laughs. And later, when he was older sometimes he did get a little hard when she started pushing against him too much. He remembered stopping it and being embarrassed, but sure his step-sister didn’t notice.
But maybe she did notice. Maybe she wanted him to be hard. Maybe she wanted him to touch her.
David closed his laptop. He tried to close his mind, too. He would go and eat breakfast and try to forget about it, but there was no forgetting. These thoughts were fractures in the shell of his relationship with his step-sister and now every time he thought of her he thought of this. The sex and the forbidden power of it. That word that was so dark and taboo.
Incest. It made him shudder. That’s not what this was. This was just fooling around. This was just stories. This was just words.
On the ride back, David didn’t take his turn driving the cramped car. He sat in the back next to Lucy and her fluttering eyes and looked out the window watching the trees go by and thinking.
It was a long ride and eventually Lucy fell asleep. David very quietly pulled his laptop out of his bag and opened it on his lap. He read over the story, glad his computer covered his lap and then he opened a new document. He couldn’t send anything because he wasn’t connected to the net, but he could write a draft. Maybe it was better if he never sent anything.
At first he considered just chiding her, telling her how this story was totally inappropriate for her to send him… but somehow he couldn’t. He knew what it was to write like this, to think like this.
The cursor flashed.
Areola. The pink bit around the nipple is the areola.
It seems a little sudden that they would just start fooling around. Maybe make it so that she feels him get hard and then he gets embarrassed and leaves and then they talk about it a little the next day and then maybe the next weekend they start wrestling and things progress. It is a bit of a stretch for it all to happen at once.
How far do you want to take this? What kind of story do you want it to be? Are they just going to fool around a little or will it be more? There are a lot of stories out there and a lot of ways to go with this.
Keep going, though. The best way to write is just to do it. You can edit it later, but it is always better to just push on and finish it.
Send me what ever comes of this. I like the character, though. The step-brother may be a bit hollow so far, but the girl is somewhat fleshed out. Remember that shorter the story is, the more you have to back description into little things about them that tell a lot about who they are. For the step-brother just saying he is wearing his high school football jacket tells you he is in high school and plays football and is probably a jock.
PS This conversation stays in email.
He read it over. He deleted “Sis” and wrote “Sara” and then deleted that and wrote “BeatDownLove”. Then he deleted that and replaced it with “Sis” again. He saved the draft and then shut down his laptop. He sat back and closed his eyes and before he knew it he was asleep.
He awoke only an hour later. They were at a large rest stop and everyone was piling out of the car to stretch their legs. David picked up his laptop again and walked into the small building that housed two fast food restaurants, bathrooms and various other facilities.
“Free WiFi!” read a sign at the coffee shop in the rest stop.
David’s friends went to the restrooms and David sat down the the coffee shop and booted up.
The first thing he did was send that email. The second thing he did was log into Google and check old posts by BeatDownLove.
The first one was in reply to his unfinished series about a widower and his high school age daughter. In the story the father and daughter never have any sort of sexual relationship, but the daughter sees her father with a woman having sex and after that she fantasizes about her father. It was full of angst and darkness and self-loathing, so it didn’t get much feedback.
“I loved your story” Sara’s reply read.
“The way you write these feelings, how it is so forbidden and so dirty in your own head and yet some part of you wants it so badly. And how the guilt and the lust and the fear all blends together into this feeling that makes your heart race and your adrenaline pump.
You captured wanting something forbidden perfectly.”
David bit his lip and absently rubbed his finger across the corner of his laptop. He browsed through some of her other posts and saved some of her longer entries as text so he could read them offline. The only stories he saw were fan fiction, most of which he didn’t know enough about to follow.
“Hey David,” said Richie, “finish your latte and let’s go!”
With that his laptop was closed and he was out the door.
As his friends pulled away from dropping him off at his house David just stood there at his door for a few minutes. He thought to himself “calm, collected, just act normal.”
Inside the house smelled like roasted chicken and potatoes and all the warm home smells he missed. He dropped his bags and walked into the kitchen. Mom was at the stove stirring the gravy. Dad was at the table reading the paper. Sara was sitting at the table too, reading a comic book.
David stood there, unnoticed, and smiled. Sara had changed her hair. It was all black now and in a ponytail. She had on black glasses and started laughing at something she was reading, then she looked up.
“Whoa- David learned ninja secrets in college!”
Then Sara’s mother let out a yelp.
“David! I didn’t hear you come in! You nearly scared me half to death.” She said holding her heart.
“Ohh, heh, sorry. I just came in and I was hypnotized by the smell. That smells great mom.” He said coming in and kissing his mother on the cheek.
“If you think that smells good, wait until tomorrow.” Sara said, putting down her comic book.
“It’s her birthday, remember. So macaroni and cheese and honey baked ham, just like every year.” Their father said, turning the page in the paper.
Her birthday? David had totally forgotten.
“Oh, yeah… I got to go wrap the socks I got you.” David said, hoping he sounded convincingly funny.
Sara rolled her eyes and they locked her gaze on his for a second. A heartbeat of connection, then she pulled away and went back to her comic book.
After dinner David helped his father with the dishes.
“So you forgot her birthday, hm?” David’s father said drying a large pot.
His father straightened his glasses and put the pot away.
“Well, she’s been a good kid this year. You know she got almost straight A’s? And she is going into a bunch of accelerated classes next year. She’ll probably do better then you on the SAT’s. So we… decided to splurge a little. I mean she spends so much time on the computer, we thought if we got her a laptop at least she could take it outside or to the park or something.”
David nodded, impressed.
“I had to buy my own, she gets one at 19!” he laughed.
“Yeah well, she didn’t dent my car.” His father noted.
“Speaking of which…”
“You want to borrow my car to go get your step-sister something for her birthday.”
“The keys are by the front door.”
Besides sex and literature, computers were David’s most desired things in life. It was almost 8 and the store was going to close soon, but David got there and was able to walk the isles for a few minutes thinking. It had been a while since he had splurged on anything, but he decided to get him self a little Blackberry cell phone combo. Something he could keep in his pocket and check his email with. The salesgirl was cute and happy to make one more commission for the day. The Blackberry worked with his cell phone account and it was already checking his mail as he paid for it and a new printer for Sara.
Sitting in the car in the parking lot he looked at the small bright screen.
My dear step-brother,
I know what an areola is, stupid. I HAVE two of them after all.
Perhaps you are right about the story. Pacing is the thing I have the most trouble with. I am sitting in my room and I am bored and where did you go mister mystery?
Anyhow, I wrote some more. Not sure where it will go.
Maybe you could tell me what will happen next.
Wrestling Match (continued)
After our wrestling match things got weird between my cousin and I. He was nice to me, but he seemed to make sure he wasn’t alone with me anymore. He didn’t really want to touch me and certainly wasn’t going to participate in any wresting any time soon.
It wasn’t until two weekends after the boob incident that I decided to broach the subject with him.
I knocked on his door one night around 9 and came in to find him in bed reading a book. I closed the door behind me and from the moment we were in the room alone together I could feel my pulse quicken.
“Hey.” He said.
I sat on his chair, which was at his desk and only three feet away from him and I stared at the floor.
“So… I just wanted to apologize… if I made things weird.” I started. “I was just…” I shrugged, “I don’t know, I guess I was just curious.”
“It’s ok. It was just… we got caught up in the moment.” He assured me.
But I watched him. I saw him squirm. I saw his eyes move over my legs. I was wearing a knee length skirt and a plain shirt. His eyes were on my knee and I started to play with the hem of my skirt as he watched.
“Yeah… you mind if I stay up here for a while?” I asked innocently.
He shrugged. I pulled my skirt up an inch, just fidgeting and playing with the hem. He nodded, eyes on my knee. I opened my legs a little and drew little circles in my skin.
He was wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt and I could see his cock getting hard. I could tell he was looking only at my leg because if our eyes met he would have to acknowledge what we were doing. I loved the way he looked at me and how every movement of my fingers made his body tense like a puppet on a string.
I moved a little more boldly, pulling up my skirt until it was up to middle of my thigh. I opened my legs a little and put a hand on each of my thighs. I pushed my skirt up farther until it was bunched at my waist and then I sat back.
His eyes were on my pink cotton underwear. I could feel his eyes like fingers. I leaned back and ran my hand over my panties. I pulled them tight against me. In my whole life I had never been so wet, so aroused. My nipple hurt they were so hard.
Then he reached down and touched his cock through his sweatpants. I shivered and pressed my finger against my sex. I scooted my ass forward more and spread my legs wide. I bit my lip hard as I rubbed my inner thighs and my fingers felt the soft hairs of the lips of my sex. I rubbed and felt the cotton get wet. I watched as he reached into his sweatpants and he grabbed hold of his cock. Then I did it, my brain screamed not to, but I wanted him to see it so bad. I pulled my panties to the side and opened my legs wide and he saw my pussy. It was the first time anyone had seen it. I put my hands on each side and spread the lips. His face was bright red and his hand was moving fast.
I moved my hand up and licked my finger and his eyes followed and for a second he looked into my eyes. I sucked my finger and then brought it back down. His eyes followed, though his hand slowed.
I circled my clit, I traced my lips and then finally I pushed my finger in.
His eyes were wild and he was pumping so fast.
“Let me see, please Danny… I want to see.” I begged, my throat dry and my voice cracking.
He laid back, still watching me and pulled up his shirt, then pulled down his sweatpants and there it was, hard and long and red. I rubbed my clit for real now. It wasn’t a show anymore, I needed this. I focused on his cock. I wanted it badly. I wanted to feel it with my tongue and squeeze it and have it inside of me. I was so close and then I heard him make a grunting sound and as I watching little spurts of white squirted out. Then I was a goner. I could see him holding me down and fucking me. I could imagine those little squirts being up inside of me and I came. I came hard.
Half way through reading the story David had to pull his cock out and violently jerk off. He came when she came. And afterwards the guilt hit him like a truck. He knew this was wrong and he knew he had to put a stop to it.
The day of Sara’s birthday went well. They had a few of Sara’s friends over and mostly David stayed away. Sara kept trying to get him to talk to everyone, but he was in a horrible mood.
After the presents, Sara was too enthralled with her computer to notice that David took his parents into the kitchen to talk.
“Listen, I know I said I was going to stay all summer, but I just got a call from a professor who wants me to come and help him with some research. His TA quit and it is a really good opportunity for me.”
It was a lie. It was a lie, but the pain in his eyes was real and so his parent just smiled and said it was fine. It was all fine.
“Sara’s going to take it hard though, she really seems to have blossomed since you have been around. She is so happy now.” His mother said sadly.
“When are you leaving?” his father asked.
His plan was to put off telling her as long as possible, but the next morning as he started packing she was at his door. Her eyes were red and her face streaked with tears.
“You weren’t even going to tell me?” she cried.
He continued packing, anything not to look into her eyes. He felt his stomach tighten and his eyes burn.
“I was going to… I…”
She cut him off. “Don’t tell me your bullshit story. I’m not stupid.”
“I know you’re not stupid.”
“I’ll stop. I won’t even mention writing again, I swear. It was stupid. It can be like it used to be.”
He felt his eyes wet as he zipped his suitcase.
“I just need to get out of here for a while. I need to be back in the city. It will be back to the way it was… we just need some time, ok?”
“No. It’s not ok. I love you.”
He clenched his fist.
“I love you too, Sara. I just have to go for a while. It will be better with a little distance.”
And then he was gone, driven to the train and out of her world again.