Monthly Archives: June 2008
When I pushed her against the bookshelf and kissed her neck and pressed myself hard against her, she didn’t seem surprised. When will I learn to read women better?
We start kissing in the cab, my hand sneaking under her dress when the driver isn’t paying attention. She was waxed clean and smooth and always wet, my little pet, and that made it so my fingers slipped right in perfectly. She slaps me away, wanting to be a good girl until we get inside.
(This happened about 7 months ago)
So… my second date with FancyJobGirl.
It went well. It lasted 18 hours. A solid 7 of those involved sex. With another 7 of talking heatedly about books, music, media, marketing, history, movies, gender politics, etymology, etc.
She is a short girl. Ridiculously intelligent. Mensa smart. Quicker than me. A wordsmith. We both came out no holds barred, our best material. We were both impressed and swooning.
She bought breakfast.
I don’t think either of us were expecting sex. She came back to my apartment and after nice conversation I kissed her. She kissed me. I kissed her neck, bit her ear, found her buttons. She reach down my pants and then we were on the bed.
She is very multiorgasmic. I found her g spot easily and when she comes that way it is violent and emotional and amazing to watch. After she is shaking and incoherent for a good 10 minutes. Her clitoral orgasms are little bursts that go on forever as one long orgasm.
She kept giving me this look, like how the fuck does this guy know how to do this, which made me feel very nice.
The fucking was good. Not great. She is a little body conscious and there are some other issue that I will get in to in a minute. I was good, she could be a little more active. Her oral sex was nice, but short.
So over breakfast she told me that she had lived with a women for five years, which explained so much. I think she thought I would have more of a reaction, but I kind of just smiled and said “this is very interesting.”
She said guys either recoil or act way too interested and say “I have this friend…”
It explains a lot about the sex. Her ability to receive a lot of stimulation. Her mature understanding of how to let herself have a lot of orgasms. Her sort of clumsiness around a cock. As nice as it was she does have a bit of that thing that a lot of bi girls have. That sort of greedy “I’m just going to lie here are you are going to pleasure me for a few hours” thing that I have experienced before. I mean, it is not a purely bi girl thing, but it is pretty prevalent in that demographic.
Still I can work with it. We will see where this goes. I was sort of up front about the whole “casual dating” thing and one of the first things she noticed when she came in to the apartment were the nails in the walls with no pictures on them.
“Almost looks like someone lived here with you and just recently moved out.” she said sarcastically.
I had another journal a while ago that was pretty locked up. Here is a retelling of events that happened about six months ago.
Not sure what to say about my date last night. Very very odd. Surreal.
Half Asian Video Editor Girl. It was our second date.Went to dinner, walked around, I was frankly thinking things weren’t working out. A lot of awkward silences with me like looking around for some way of escape. Then she sort of randomly asked if we could hang at my apartment.
We took a cab back to my place, she pretty much did that thing girls do where they sit there waiting to be kissed, so I kissed her. Things progressed pretty normally from there.
I was pretty confused, because she seemed to send me a lot of messages that this wasn’t going to happen. She shot me down the first date. I slowed down during the kissing and asked her if I was moving to fast and her response was “I want you to fuck me.”
Well, I may not be the best at reading messages, but that one I think I can interpret as a positive.
Let me describe her. My height, chubby-ish with most of her weight carried in her behind and breasts. Shoulder length straight black hair, warm light brown eyes, which are sort of asian looking, but sort of not. Pale skin with lots of freckles on her nose and cheeks. Cute in a dorky way.
I didn’t really think about it at first, but she wore a long sleeve shirt on both dates… though I did notice she did the emo sleeve tug a lot, pulling sleeves over her hands. She took her pants of as things progressed, but only pulled up her shirt and I started to get why.
Cutters. I have been with cutters before. I should have read it a long time back. I saw the first few on her belly, all in a neat little row. The more skin that was exposed the more I realized she was a serious cutter. I mean… rows of neat deep scars. Neat and even rows with the occasional slash across. You could see the attention to pattern and the occasionally followed urge to ruin even her own destructive works.
She has tattoos (chinese characters) on her wrists and up her arms, plus a large character on her chest between her breasts and I would lean later two playing cards on her back. The queen of hears and the queen of spades… significance?
Then I saw an almost successful suicide attempt, big thick slashes down her wrist. She has kangi tattoos all down her arm and the scar splits the dark ink
in half with a golden white scar as thick as a pencil. Which means it wasn’t that long ago. It was after she got the tatoos which I am guessing were done when she was in her early 20’s.
People have issues, I’m fine with that, I understand that. But to be honest I got freaked. I had an equipment failure. I think it was the big scars cutting into the tattoos… I kept thinking about it.
But I worked through it. She had a good time and I eventually found my way through to at least some degree.
I always kiss scars. It just seems like what you should do. Does that make sense? She seemed to be comforted by it.
She had to go home because she didn’t bring anything for her contact lenses… or just didn’t want to stay, who knows.
Weird weird night. I like her, not in any serious way, but she is sort of fascinating in an emotionally fucked up way. Really she seemed bubbly and happy the whole time, I had no idea what would be under her shirt, besides very large breasts.
I certainly don’t want to rattle her or ask too many questions that she doesn’t want to answer… still my curiosity will always overpower any other emotion. Queen of Hearts and Queen of Spades… hm. Dark past or just a troubled youth? What broke that little girl?
Sigh, deep down part of me just thinks of people as stories. Deep down I kind of like that I feel that way.
I’m a reasonably normal person. Like a lot of people I think I am a little smarter than most. I’m witty, I’m sarcastic, I am occasionally arrogant. I am often fascinated. I like to examine things, situations and people. I can be very patient when I feel I need to be. I am very well read. I am addicted to Wikipedia. I like reading about sex and people’s sex lives. I like finding out secrets.
My kinks are varied. I am a very curious person. I am very willing to participate in someone else’s fantasy even if their kink isn’t exactly mine. I am a voyeur, though I like to be an acknowledged audience as opposed to a spy. I enjoy participating in a girl’s pleasure or more accurately being in control of it. More than any other kink I enjoy being in control of someone’s pleasure.
I like rough play, a little bondage, some spanking. I am certainly dominant, though I am not into lifestyle D/s master/slave type relationships. I think roles are a bit more fluid for me. I like to play. When I get into a role I am in it all the way, but I don’t like to live roles.
I am not a sadist, I do not get off hurting someone physically or emotionally, though I understand some people’s desire to be hurt or humiliated and I have been involved in things more intense than spanking and more humiliating than name calling when the need was made clear.
I like withholding pleasure or prolonging it. Long teasing sessions. I am patient and can hold out for long periods watching a girl squirm and beg.
As I said, I like writing about sex and reading about sex. I will read about pretty much any sex act as long as it is well written. There are some very wild stories online and I have read some of the darkest, filthiest and hottest. I see a real difference between fantasy and reality and how some things are better left as words on a page. I often read and write about things I do not condone in real life.
Physically I am usually attracted to women who are curvy, be that just buxom and sultry or chubby and soft. I tend to like short girls (under 5’4″). I’ll just say it outright, I like big tits. Big tits and big asses. Chubby little sluts are my favorite things in the world. Chubby little sluts who will call me Sir/Daddy… I’m pretty much powerless against them.
More than any physical trait, I’m attracted to intelligence. I like well read women. Librarians, teachers, professors, writers, musicians, etc are all a plus.
Last year I ended the longest relationship of my life which lasted about 5 years. I’m not particularly looking for something long term now. Now are the hunting days. I’m having a lot of fun out there, but I’m very safe and I haven’t found someone to share a lot of the secrets I have and will talk about in this journal.