Monthly Archives: April 2012

Excerpt – The Valet

The dry cleaner (a lovely woman from Belarus, I believe) had my order hanging near the cash register, waiting for me. She tried to brush away my tip, but as always she eventually conceded with a smile and daintily shoved the few extra dollars (as daintily as someone can shove something) into her vast brassiere.

Usually by 8:30, which my pocketwatch told me it had just struck, I’d be making coffee, but since my employer was “with guest” and the various grinding of beans and screaming of espresso making apparati would, I’m sure, be a less than ideal wake up call, I was out running the errands which I usually saved for later in the day.

read more

Posted in Fiction | Tagged , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

No

When I’m not exactly in the mood, all she has to do is say “no.”

It makes so little sense. I mean, it’s actually silly. I’m not touching her, I’m tired and sore and grumpy and she takes my hand and puts it on her breast which is a reasonable form of seduction. When I squeeze said breasts she pushes my hand away.

“No,” she says in that slightly too serious way.

It’s not even remotely plausible. She just put my hand on her breast! No?

She’s aware. She holds the magnet opposite disire. She may have even thought she came up with this game.

read more

Posted in Quick | Tagged | 1 Comment