Keep it Like a Secret

I have a lot to say, but I’m going to keep things inside for a while. I’m greedy and I want the memories all to myself.

I will say, cherries are sweet and they make kisses so much better. Frozen grapes stir up all kinds of things. The world is a delicious place.

Kissing is amazing. Laughing is the best. Three writers in a bed is almost overwhelming. Actually it is overwhelming. Sometimes you can strap yourself in and be overwhelmed. Ride the waves of over-stimulation and come out on the other side panting and changed.

It is an interesting thing to be so smitten with two women at once. One for all the ways we are the same and one for all the ways we are different. Pale skin and darker skin. Youth and experience. One desire is lean, hungry, patient. It makes my eyes narrow and my smile a little sinister. I want to be rough with her, play out things, a wrestling match of wits and sex. The other has no room to wait, it is just want and it is want now. I want to show her things and teach her tricks and just fuck her until she can’t take it any more. I want that so bad it makes me a little nervous.

Ellie and I have been chatting a lot lately. We have been talking about chemistry and the way some people evoke certain dynamics from the start. Some people you meet and you might want to date or be friends with, you can see where it goes. Other times the chemistry takes over and you need to top them hard or be topped by them or take care of them.

My emotions are certainly cyclical. For a while now I have been somewhat luke warm over people. It’s interesting to be so passionately intrigued all of the sudden.

And now back to work. Jack needs to stop thinking about… well just stop thinking.

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Mister McIntyre’s Secret – Part Seven

It was a Wednesday when I finished my assignment. I put my diary on Mister McIntyre’s desk with all my dirty secrets open for him. My teenage fumblings and my embarrassing attempts at dating. All of my dirty dreams and forbidden fantasies. All the times I had to go into the bathroom and rub myself while covering my mouth because Mister McIntyre had leaned over me while I typed a letter or chided me for taking too long at lunch. Continue reading

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Jack, Janie and Mariella

Gentle readers, I am going to tell you a true story now. The story of when I had my first sex blogger date. In wonderful sex blog fashion, said date included three people.

Janie Blooms of The Late Bloomer Finally Blooms, who by the way is in full bloom and lovely in her geek chic glasses and buxom brashness. Then there was the ever so charming Mariella from In Media Res… who is exquisite. A coquettish little lolita.

*

We met at a bar, the three of us, after a little mix up. There were perfunctory conversations. We laughed at the awkwardness of it, even though that awkwardness didn’t seem to exist. We were quite comfortable in fact.

I didn’t know what to make of it all before I got there. Going in I wasn’t sure what to expect. I’d spoken to each of them separately online. I loved both of their blogs. I already had crushes on both of them to tell the truth. I thought I would meet them, I would see what happened.

The thing is when you read about someone in the fashion you get to know very specific things about them. When you meet them in person all the little holes in the story get filled up very quickly. So to speak. I was expecting sexy people I was expecting flirting maybe. I wasn’t expecting two completely brilliant extremely interesting women.

I wasn’t expecting the chemistry.

In the dark bar we found a quiet corner. I wonder what wandering eyes did see, though. The three of us instantly slipped into private jokes and inside information. We were following each other’s lead, though somehow I ended up the ring leader.

Mariella is a very particular kind of girl. That clumsy giggly kind of girl who’s just figuring out that she is sexy. She’s walking around with a body like a loaded gun. She is falling out of her dress. She can’t stop fidgeting. She twirls her hair and bites her lips. She bends over you, not realizing or at least pretending not to realize that her breasts are in your face. She twists and turns and squirms, almost in your lap.

When you kiss her she gives it her all. She’s overtaken by it and she has to pull herself away from it when it’s over, though she sits there with her eyes closed trying to recover.

Her body is hot to the touch, her dress is tight. A hand on her side and she melts into your grip, pressing and wanting more. When your hand finds her naked leg she is biting her lip and she doesn’t know what to do with all the want. Every bit of her is trying to pull your hand up her thigh. Every sweet breath and kiss and flirting look is making you inch closer to slipping your finger into the spot you know is wet and hungy and burning hot.

Janie is a whole different animal. Janie is more like me.

She looks at you fearlessly through her glasses. Measuring and evaluating. Daring you to move in. Giving you signals, but still making sure you have the balls to move in.

The challenge in her eyes set me off a little. We were locking glases over beer, over Mariella who was at first sitting in the middle and then by the end of the night sandwiched between us.

The flirting was ridiculous. It wasn’t flirting as most people know it. We are, all three of us, obviously advanced. The entendre was four or five layers thick. Our eyes were locking and dodging and hungry and saying a million different things. Well, really only one thing. “I want to fuck”

There was literary conversation and anecdotes, stories about relationships and sex, but all of the pretty words only made us realize that we probably could have skipped it all and went to bed right then and there. But it was too late. It was a Tuesday. Maybe it was too amazing to move on. The flirting and the kissing and eventually the touching was a whole new kind of sex. My knee is still shaking 24 hours later.

It started when Mariella went to the lady’s room. I moved in and sat next to Janie. She has a cocky sort of grin. So I kissed her. Just a little kiss. Testing the waters. She didn’t budge much, but she kissed me back. We smiled. I think I passed the first test.

A bit later Janie went to the bathroom and I whispered in Mariella’s ear that we had kissed. She said we had some catching up to do.

Mariella’s kiss wasn’t a test. A kiss and she liquified. She turned into molten lava. Tongues and hands and I started getting dizzy.

We told Janie when she got back like two kids who spilled something on the sofa. She smiled wickedly and told us we should kiss again, this time in front of her. So we did. The next time I kissed Janie she let go a little, opening her mouth falling into the kiss.

I can only imagine what the waitress saw. Two bespectacled geeky people staring into each others eyes from both sides of a squirming sex pot. All I know is she came over and offered us a free round.

It continued like this. Climbing like a thermometer in July. Kissing one of them, then the other. Kissing leading to touching. Then the shock of naked air as we pulled ourselves apart. My hand on Mariella’s leg, his side, scratching her back, while Janie did the same from the other side. The best moment was fingers meeting someone else’s fingers under her skirt. Our eyes meeting as we explored the achingly smooth skin of the younger girl between us. Oh the plans our eyes communicated.

And so I am now the king of the East Village. Stalling before getting on the train we took turns kissing, sometimes looking into the eyes of one while kissing the other right in front of the subway entrance. I was embarrassed, but Janie told me how rock star I was.

And now? Every day will be torture until we pick up where we left off.

Delicious excruciating candy coated fucking torture.

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Mister McIntyre’s Secret – Part Six

Mister McIntyre’s Secret
Part Six

April 19th, 1964

There is a large lavish hotel room. Rich crimson and gold wallpaper, a huge bed, gilded chairs and lavish mirrors. Mister McIntyre is standing in front of the largest mirror straightening his tie. He is in his black suit, the one he wears to big meetings. His shirt is harsh white and he is wearing his cornflower blue tie. He is freshly shaven, his hair is parted neatly and slick. You can count the comb lines.

Marcy Peterson, his mistress, is walking out of the washroom. A slinky low cut black dress. Her black hair long and silk soft falling over her shoulders. Her lips are dark red and glimmering.

He towers over her. He stands almost six foot five and she, like me, is just over five feet tall. He leans in and they kiss, at first tenderly and then his hand is in her hair, pulling her back so he can kiss her neck hungrily. Her eyes are glazed with pleasure.

He picks her up and carries her to the bed. Standing over her he takes off his jacket and folds it neatly on the night stand. He then methodically rolls up his sleeves exposing his muscular hairy arms. He loosens and removes his tie, she sits up on the bed eagerly wanting more of his lips but he pushes her down.

Picking up the phone he presses one button and I answer.

“Yes, sir?”

“Abigail I’m going to need some rope.”

“Yes, sir. Right away.”

There I was at the door, dressed in my mousy brown skirt and my beige top with my hair in a ponytail and my glasses falling off my nose. Two thick coils of rope in my hands.

I looked down at Miss Peterson. She’s a wicked girl and a wanton slut. I know why Mister McIntyre wants me to tie her down. I can only imagine she will squirm away when his hands are too rough. I pet her hands dip down and play with her sex when she wants more, knowing that Mister McIntyre is only giving her as much pleasure as she is supposed to get.

I glared down at her, but she is lost in his eyes. I pull her so that she is sitting up and I unzip her dress. The fabric is soft and expensive. The smell of her hair and her perfume is delicate, but heady. As I pull the dress off it exposes every inch of her. Her black underthings, her dark stockings and pretty garter belt. I unsnap the belts and put them aside. I gingerly pull her underwear down, her hand going to my shoulder for support as I pull them off. Then I pull the pillows from under the covers and put her head on them.

I tied her, I tied her tight for him. She’d better not get loose. I tied both of her wrists behind her back. Then tie a knot around her knee and slid the rope under the bed and tie the other end to her other knee, keeping her down and keeping her legs apart. The last knot made her wince and she shot a look at me. I smiled sweetly.

“Sorry Miss Peterson.”

The near hypnotic way she looked at Mister McIntyre melted away for a moment as she glowered at me, but then his smack across her face brought her back. It was light, but still her cheek grew read for a sting of Mister McIntyre’s hand.

Mister MacIntyre stood over the bed watching the tied up woman in the bed, her bottom in the air and her sex exposed so completely. He was clenching his fists and his jaw. He was planning what to do first, how to take her apart.

I was on my knees after the girl was tied. I opened the buckle of his belt and carefully stood up while I pulled it off of him. It slipped around him loop by loop until it hung in my hand, heavy black leather. I held it out to Mister McIntyre and his eyes never even settling on me he took it, folding it in half and snapping it once.

“I’ll let you know if I need anything else Abigail.”

And dutifully as always I went back to my desk, hoping Mister McIntyre knew I would do anything for him.

Anything.

I placed her diary on Mister McIntyre’s desk next to his newspapers.

When I sat at down at my desk I sat up straight. My heart wasn’t racing, though it was pounding hard in my chest. I felt alive and ready to see what was next. I’d gotten a glimpse into Mister McIntyre’s life and it was freighting and sexual and everything that my dreams seemed to hint at.

I was ready for my next assignment.

Next Chapter

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Mister McIntyre’s Secret – Part Five

She didn’t say anything when she walked in. She just brushed me aside and sauntered in with that strut she had. She looked around as she pulled each finger of her glove and then took them off and slipped them into her purse.

“You don’t look sick.” she said looking me up and down as I closed and locked the door.

“I mean, you’re pale and your hair is dull and lifeless, but I’m guessing you always look like that.”

Why was she in my apartment? Obviously Mister McIntyre sent her. Why her?

“As I can tell from your silly little scrunched up face and crossed eyes you are obviously trying to fathom why I’m here.”

Her gloves were finally off. She was walking around my living room, a look of amusement on her face. Continue reading

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Mister McIntyre’s Secret – Part Four

Mister McIntyre’s Secret
Part Four

There was a line and it had been crossed.

I wasn’t stupid. I knew how I looked, how I acted. I was his puppy dog, his whipping post, his girl Friday. I swooned around him, I knew I did that. For all my dedication and obedience I got a pat on the head, not even on the butt. I was sexless on his eyes, but at the same time he took advantage of my attraction to him. I was alright with that. In fact it made me work harder. I wasn’t doing it to win his heart or get a kiss. I served Mister McIntyre because I wanted to and it made me happy and he deserved it.

This was something else though, something new and of scared me more than all the secrets, all the waiting and all the frustration. My heart had given up racing. There was a new fear and it was slow and methodical.

He didn’t call me into his offce for the rest of the day. He came back from lunch and as he opened his door I could see the little bit of pink on his desk.

He went to a meeting and had a drink with a client. When he came back he didn’t even look at be as he walked inside. His face was as irreadable as ever. I was sitting like a death row inmate. The calm of inevadable doom had come over me.

At five he came out I the office holding his jacket, his briefcase and my diary. He placed the book on my desk and looked down at me.

“Interesting. I wonder what Jung would say.” his eyes were on me and I was frozen.

“Finish it.”

I opened my mouth but nothing came out. I tired again and it was only a croak.

“I don’t rem-”

“Make it up, then. Just finish it.”

He put his hat on and slipped his arm into his jacket.

“You’re a pretty girl, Abigail. It’s too bad you don’t have much luck with love.” his smile was small, but enough to hurt.

“But you certainly do have a healthy imagination.”

*

I didn’t cry on the train. I opened the book and looked through the pages wondering what he’d read, wondering what he skipped. I wondered how much of me he knew. Fingering my silly words, my Catholic school script. His shadow now loomed over my first date and my first kiss. The awkward shyness that kept me home on Friday nights and the dirty thoughts that made my hands creep under my sheets at night or up my skirt…

A flash of dark ink caught my attention. It was on the next to last page I wrote in.

There I was in Mister McIntyre’s office, my skirt pulled up and my hand pressed tightly in-between my pantyhose and body. Soaking wet from his eyes on me, rubbing myself fast, hoping not to get caught, maybe hoping to get caught. When it came it was so hard I nearly fell down.

And then in his dark bold print, the kind he uses to add an addendum to a contract, he wrote:

Interesting. I’ll have to try and hurry back from lunch from now on.

He knew. I wasn’t his mousy little secretary anymore. Well, I was but I was something else too. A dirty little pervert. I wanted to cry, I wanted to quit, I wanted to crawl into a hole and never leave.

In my stomach this poison shame was bubbling up, but the whole time it was mixed with something else. All the time I was clenching my fists and barely aware of the ache. Arousal and shame so tied together I didn’t know where one started and the other began. So bad in so many ways.

What would come that morning? Would he laugh at me or punish me or scratch some fraction of the itch that was always there when he was around? What would I see when I looked up at those piercing eyes?

At home I forgot to eat dinner. I threw myself on the bed and look out my pen and opened my diary, which suddenly felt new and electric and frightening. I put my pen down on the page where I’d left off. I waited, I tried to remember. I couldn’t really write what happened in my dream, could I? Now that I knew he would read it. Now that I knew every dark fantasy would be exposed to him.

I had to try. I closed my eyes and pictured the hotel room. Marcy with her bratty little grin. Mister MacIntyre walking towards me, taking the rope. He was going to wipe that smile off her face. I’d watch and help. I’d be good and do what he told me to do, to the letter. Marcy wouldn’t. That’s why he was tying her down.

My hands were on my body as I remembered. The weight of the day had made me weak, but hungry. My breasts were sore under my bra, I got out of bed and pulled off my shirt and skirt and underthings. Naked, I laid back down, I went back to the diary where I hadn’t added anything to the dream but a blue dot where my pen rested. I laid back down and rubbed the soreness from my neck, smoothed the little lines my brassiere left under my breasts.

My nipples were so sensitive I almost couldn’t touch them. So much arousal and fear all day. My body was so primed, pulled so tight the lightest touch was almost painful. I imagined being on Mister McIntyre’s big chair, naked. When my fingers trailed down to the soft hairs between my legs I was scared to touch. It was like a cold drink after a day in the desert.

Then the warm wet welcome, the familiarity of my body as well as the shame. It wouldn’t take long. I was already climbing. I could finish the story when I was done, free of the burden of all this desire.

*

The sun hurt my eyes. My cheek stung. I awoke to find the edge of my diary resting on my face, the hard cardboard digging into my skin.

Morning? I looked at the clock and it read 8:20am. I rubbed my eyes knowing it was lying. 7:20am. I went to the livingroom, naked, and saw the same on the clock on the wall.

Panic. I didn’t finish it. I was late for work. I would be even later if I try and write something. I would try and write something on the train, but what if I couldn’t? I’d never been late in my entire life. How did this happen?

I picked up the phone on the wall in the kitchen. Some part of my brain had taken over. Damage control. I called the head of the secretarial pool.

“Hi Margie… It’s Abigail. I’m not feeling well, I’m sorry for the late notice but I can’t come in today.”

Margie was nice as always. She laughed because it was the first time I’d ever called in sick. She said she was glad I was human like every one else.

The idea of a whole day alone in the apartment was horrifying. My roommate Eloise was a dental assistant and she would be out all day. Even more terrifying was the image of Mister McIntyre coming in to see some temp from the steno pool at my desk. Someone who wouldn’t know how to take care of him the way I do. Plus he would know I failed. I really failed him for the first time.

With that I tumbled back into bed and cried.

The doorbell rang a little after eleven. When I sat up I knew it was him. I knew it without a doubt. I’d failed him, I’d called in sick when I wasn’t, I was a dirty girl who fingered herself in his office. I wasn’t even pretty enough to be his slut. I was just a mess. A servant who had outlived her usefulness and become pathetic.

I was still naked. I found a nightgown and slipped it on. I ran to the door and stood in front of it. The bell rang again and again.

My hand on the knob, turning, slowly, this was it. He would be in my apartment. He would fire me or fuck me or slap me. I don’t know which I was more afraid of.

And then the strangest thing happened. I opened the door and saw a black dressed, black gloved, perfectly manicured Marcy Elizabeth Spencer-Peterson.

Next Chapter

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Fiction – Slow Summer Heat

It was one of those hot sticky days, full of barbecues and running around town, and followed by one of those long summer nights where no one wants to go home and everyone just drink and drinks.

Jack brought Molly back to his apartment. It was a little after two in the morning and the both of them were exhausted. He watched her peel off her t-shirt and drop it on the floor, then unsnap her bra which had left delicious little red marks around her back and under her arms. For some reason Jack liked the marks. He liked to touch them and even run his tongue over them. Molly would have none of that in the heat though. She was sweaty and smelled like smoke and dirt and beer. She pulled off her shorts and underwear and slunk off to the bathroom.
Continue reading

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NYC

Anyone else going to this?
CineKink’s Tawdry Summer Tryst
August 5, 2008, 8pm
The Red Room @ KGB Complex
85 E. Fourth Street (@ Second)

Seems interesting. Just wondering if anyone else out there will be there so I can nervously gravitate towards you and make awkward conversation.

Mister McIntyre part 4 up tomorrow.

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Mister McIntyre’s Secret – Part Three

Mister McIntyre’s Secret
Part Three

April 19th, 1964

Half asleep, rolling around in my worn white sheets. The clock says I have a half an hour before I have to get up. My heart is already starting because of a half remembered dream.

In the dream there is a large lavish hotel room. Rich crimson and gold wallpaper, a huge bed, gilded chairs and lavish mirrors. Mister McIntyre is standing in front of the largest mirror straightening his tie. He is in his black suit, the one he wears to big meetings. His shirt is harsh white and he is wearing his cornflower blue tie. He is freshly shaven, his hair is parted neatly and slick. You can count the comb lines.

Marcy Peterson, his mistress, is walking out of the washroom. A slinky low cut black dress. Her black hair long and silk soft falling over her shoulders.

He towers over her. He stand almost six foot five and she, like me, is just over five feet tall. He leans in and they kiss, at first tenderly and then his hand is in her hair, pulling her back so he can kiss her neck hungrily. Her eyes are glazed with pleasure.

He picks her up and carries her to the bed. Standing over her he takes off his jacket and folds it neatly on the night stand. He then methodically rolls up his sleeves exposing his muscular hairy arms. He loosens and removes his tie, she sits up on the bed eagerly wanting more of his lips but he pushes her down.

Picking up the phone he presses one button and I answer.

“Yes, sir?”

“Abigail I’m going to need some rope.”

“Yes, sir. Right away.”

There I was at the door, dressed in my mousy brown skirt and my beige top with my hair in a ponytail and my glasses falling off my nose. Two thick coils of rope in my hands.

That’s what I had written in my diary that morning on the train into work. That’s what I had went to finish at lunch when Mister McIntyre came in. I left my sandwich on my desk and slipped my diary back into my drawer. Mister McIntyre called me in to take a letter. When we were finished he sat back in his hair and made a little steeple with his fingers the way he did and he rocked there and looked at me.

“I’d really prefer if business acquaintances didn’t call the office.”

I swallowed hard. Stupid heart revving up again. I wished he didn’t look at me like that. That examining look that makes it so I can’t move, but I can’t stay still. Deer in headlights doesn’t even start to explain it.

“You handled it well, though I’d prefer if you didn’t use anyone name on the phone. You never who is walking by.”

“I’m so sorry, sir. I will never happen again.” I wanted to crawl away. I wanted to cry. I wanted to get on my knees… on over his knees.

He cleared his throat. “You did fine, I’m just explaining the protocol for the future. You always exceed my expectations Abby.” and with that he turned around and looked out his window, the sign that I was dismissed.

I turned, scampered out, but just before I closed the door his voice pulled me back.

“What was that you were writing?”

Fear, icy and numbing my fingers on the doorknob.

“Sir?”

“You were writing something as I came in, what was it?”

Lie. Make up anything. But I knew I couldn’t. I can’t lie to Mister McIntyre. I wouldn’t. He’d probably see through it anyhow.

“Nothing, sir. Just my diary. I… write in-” he cut off my mumbling.

“Speak up, Abby.”

“My diary, sir. I write in it at lunch sometimes.”

He considered this.

“What were you writing today?”

The panic was in my throat and I couldn’t speak. I felt like I was alone in an alley with a gang of thieves. No where to run.

“Just… a stupid thing. A dream. It was nothing-”

He cut me off again.

“Dreams can be very interesting, Abby. Haven’t you heard of the work of Jung?”

I didn’t know what to say. I just begged that this was the end of the conversation.

“Bring it in here. Leave it on my desk. I want to see what kind of dreams you are having.”

“Sir?”

He didn’t say anything. There was silence. There was more silence. I looked up and his eyes were on mine. I almost never look him in the eyes and the power of that icy blue made me let go of the door knob.

“Bring it into my office and leave it on my desk.” he said, standing up and picking up his hat.

“I’ll read it when I get back from lunch.”

He walked towards me. His body suddenly close. He slipped past me, his chest brushing against me, the smell of him, the hugeness of him. Then he was gone. My legs were shaking so much I almost couldn’t sit down. The blood was draining from my body. I was starting to hyperventilate.

I wanted to go home, but I knew I wouldn’t. I couldn’t. There was only one thing to do, it wasn’t even a choice. I would put my little pink and purple striped diary on his desk. I would put it there and it would sit there on his big dark wood desk next to his fancy pens and his big black telephone and all of his newspapers and business things. My heart and my dirty thoughts just waiting.

And so I held my book to my chest and marched in feeling naked. I put it down and my eyes stung. I walked out and closed the door and sat back at my desk.

And then I waited.

Next Chapter

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Mister McIntyre’s Secret – Part Two

Mister McIntyre’s Secret
Part Two

Deep breath.

It’s 11:45 and that means that Mister McIntyre is… he is in his meeting. He is in his hotel room right now. He is doing things, things that make me bite my lip just thinking about. How am I supposed to work? How am I supposed to act like nothing is going on. Right now at the Pierre Hotel he is fucking her. Right now he is doing it. Are they naked? Does he take off his socks? Does he make noise?

“Want to go to lunch with us Abigail?”

It’s Paula and Regina. Nice girls, but I’m nervous that someone will call. Something might happen. I have to guard the secrets.

“Oh, no thanks, I brought my lunch.”

They shrugged and giggled to each other. Whispering some little joke. Who cares what they think. Paula had a nose like a pig and her boss was that drunk Mister Grifford. Regina was nice enough, but she wasn’t very bright.

The phone ring and I took a deep breath before I picked it up.

“Fitzgerald Investment Group, Mister McIntyre’s office.”

Silence on the line. A sigh. More silence.

“Douglas McIntyre’s office, may I help you?” I said, a little louder.

“Hello. You’re the secretary, right?”

I knew it was her. I never heard her voice, but I knew. My heart was racing again. One of his secrets come to life with a real voice. Talking to me.

“Y.. yes. This is Abigail. How can I help you?”

There was a low chuckle.

“He’s not in, is he?” her voice was velvet. It made her jealous.

“N.. no. May I ask who’s calling?”

A long pause.

“You know who’s calling. I’m not going to be able to make my appointment and I don’t have the hotel’s number handy.”

Marcy Peterson. Daughter of a client. The spoiled brat.

“I’ll um, I’ll find Mister McIntyre and let him know… Miss Peterson.” my voice lowering to a whisper.

Another chuckle.

“My, but you are the good secretary.” her honey sarcastic voice purred with the trappings of a rich Connecticut accent. “I suppose you schedule all of Mister McIntyre’s affairs.”

I just sort of let out a little meep. What can you say to that? Secrets are supposed to be secret. Notes in the calendar. Instructions from Mister McIntyre. They aren’t supposed to call.

“I.. I’ll let him know, Ma’am.”

“How old are you… Abby isn’t it?”

I should have just hung up. Would that be rude? People walked by my desk and I wondered what they thought. I was holding on to the phone with both hands. I tried to calm down. Put one hand on the desk. Tried to act like this was just another phone call.

“Twenty-two, ma’am.”

“Well, just a little thing. From your voice I would have said twenty at most. Is it embarrassing? Knowing where your boss goes at lunch? He told me once you were very trustworthy and obedient to the last. It made you sound like a puppy.”

My mouth opened but no words came out. He talked about me? What did he say? He actually sat there with his mistress and said “That Abigail is an obedient secretary.”?

“I try my best.” I squeaked.

She hung up. I numbly dialed the hotel.

“Mister Jefferson, room 732, please.”

It rang several times. My heart can’t take this. It never seems to slow down. It’s no wonder I go home and fall asleep.

“Yes?” his slow deep voice.

“Um, it’s um… your 11:30 appointment had to cancel, sir.”

“She called the office?” he sounded concerned.

“Yes sir.”

“That’s…” he trailed off. “I’ll be back in the office in 15 minutes.”

Back to his office, straighten things up. Make sure everything it set for his meeting. Make sure he has his notes.

Standing in his office with the door closed the day finally got to me. He would be back any minute. Pulling up my skirt and reaching down my panties I am soaked through and through. How do I get this bad? How do I let myself get this worked up?

One hand on his desk and one hand in the tight constraints of my panties and pantyhose. Fast fast. He might come back. Fast his footsteps will be in the hallway any minute. Those gray blue eyes, that chiseled chin, those huge hands. I bet his hands are twice the size of mine. His fingers twice as thick.

Rubbing and rubbing, but I am quiet as a mouse. I would be quiet if he needed me to come into his office. I wouldn’t say a word if he bent me over his desk. I’d be his. His anything. I’d never cancel.

My fist on his hard wood desk as I come and come.

Go to the bathroom. Don’t look up at anyone. Wash my hands, fix my lipstick.

Breath Abigail. Breath.

I’m at my desk just as he gets in.

“Abby, I’m going to need some lunch. Turkey Club. Get yourself…” he stopped, examining me as he got to his door.

“You look a little flushed, everything alright?”

I squirm. His eyes on me. He is looking me over. What can he see?

“Oh, I’m alright.” I laugh awkwardly.

Next Chapter

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Mister McIntyre’s Secret – Part One

Sitting at my desk before he gets to the office I cross my legs and watch helplessly as they bounce nervously.

Every Monday it’s the same. I don’t know why. I get in early, sort the mail, clean things up, change my typewriter ribbon. When it hits 8:45 I start shaking a little. I have to concentrate on not biting my lower lip or I’ll mess up my lipstick.

I keep a little check list under my typewriter on a little board so I can slide it out and look at it. Make sure his glasses are clean, make sure his desk is organized. Garbage can empty. Check the bulbs in his lamps. Dust his globe and book shelf. I get the special coffee he likes and keep it in a thermos. If he isn’t in by 10 I go get some more so it will be hot and fresh for him. I have to guard the milk I keep in the refrigerator, Mister McIntyre doesn’t like cream. The Wall Street Journal and the Financial Times on his desk. He reads the New York Times on the train.

By 8:55 my heart is racing. I have to dab my forehead. My legs are bouncing so much I’m going to wear a hole in my stockings.

When he comes in, he is charging down the hall. I can hear him. No one else walks that fast in here. I see his silhouette outside the frosted glass door and then he’s walking towards me. I don’t know where to look. I straighten paper. I fix my pencils. If I look up at those blue eyes I’ll explode or, even worse, blush.

“Abby,” he says in that deep voice. I see his chin, I see his lips.

“Good morning, sir,” I hate my voice. I hate my voice. I sound like a little girl.

He is wearing his charcoal gray suit with a white shirt and a navy tie.

“Eleven o’clock with the Richardson people. Lunch at one with the Morgan Stanley people. Nothing else until the four o’clock review with Mister Donaldson, sir.”

He is looking through the mail as I tell him this from memory. He throws away half the mail. I can smell his aftershave and lingering cigarette smoke. He has a little red nick on his chin from shaving. I want to lick it.

Why am I like this? I’m getting wet just from him standing over me. I’ve been here for four months and I’m still like this. It’s actually getting worse. Do other girls think about there bosses like this? I’m 22 and he’s 38. He’s married to the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen; plus- well- Mister McIntyre has secrets. I would never tell. I can keep secrets. It’s important that Mister McIntyre knows that. I’m his secretary and I would never divulge any of his information to anyone. Except my diary.

He is hovering closer. He takes a step nearer and looks around.

“Abby,” he clears his throat. He was using his conspiratorial whisper. “See if you can move the Morgan thing to two and the Richardson thing to 10. Matt Richardson is staying at the Roosevelt, tell him I can swing by and we can do it in the restaurant there.”

He leaned in even closer, his mouth inches from my ear. I was trying to breath. Just kiss me. Kiss my neck. I’ll do anything you want, Mister McIntyre. Please, sir. Please.

“Call up… the Pierre. Get me that room I get. You know. Tell them it is for Mister Jefferson, they will know what you mean. I’ll be there from 11 to 12:30.”

“Yes, sir.”

Then he was gone. His door closed. I would wait 10 minutes and then bring him his coffee.

I only saw her once. The girl he takes to the Pierre. He pays cash at the desk for the room. She’s my age, dark hair. She has a stupid face, but those lips. So full and always perfectly painted red. She looks mean, bitter and bratty. Maybe that’s what he likes. I wonder what they do in there. I mean, I know what they do- I just wonder how it goes. Does he get there first or does she? Does he just pull up her dress? Is he rough or gentle?

My legs are closed so tight under my desk. My fists clenched. I have to stop thinking about this.

He’s rough. I bet Mister McIntyre is rough. I bet he pushes her down on the bed or maybe against the wall. I bet he slaps her around if her bratty mouth goes off. I bet he rips her panties off; if she wears any that little slut.

Is it big? Oh god, I have to stop thinking about this. Is it thick and hard? Does she suck it? Does it hurt her when he-

“Abby? Is there a problem with the coffee?” he says through the intercom.

“One moment, sir.”

I’m out of my seat like a shot. I’m dizzy as I get the milk from the break room. Find a mug for him. Get the thermos. Just a splash of milk. My eyes sting. I’m so stupid. I was daydreaming and I forgot.

I fan my eyes. Stop it. Don’t cry. Put on a happy face and bring it in to him.

Composed. Deep breath. I open the door. I bring in the coffee. He doesn’t look up at me, he just picks it up and sips it.

I’m stupid.

I make the calls. I have to fight to change the times but it all works out.

“Sir? Your schedule is all set for the day. Just the way you wanted it.”

Silence. My heart racing again.

“Thank you, Abby.”

I try not to smile. I feel like I am blushing again. Oh, Mister McIntyre.

Next Chapter

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The Weekend in Review

It’s sort of sad when your ex-girlfriend cum fuck buddy (The Musician)tells you she can’t come over for sex and snacks anymore.

In the end I know she will find a nice boy and settle down. Probably she is already on her way.

If she does have a lapse in judgement before then…

*

Friday night drink with a certain female sex blogger was canceled due to scheduling issues. Sad, but a five minute phone call was an oddly potent assurance of attraction. For me at least. Oh well, I can wait. Hunger is the best pickle, as they say.

*

Saturday was an interesting day. I went out with someone I have known for something like six or seven years, but never actually met. We cyber geeks have such acquaintances. Meeting her was oddly comfortable. Falling into a familiar banter, knowing each other’s faces if only vaguely.

She is a long train ride away, but close enough to visit somewhat regularly.

We have had an interesting friendship. Usually just two media geeks chatting about this or that, but occasionally conversations become somewhat racy. Perhaps even downright naughty.

This meeting was proposed as a “date” seeing that she is somewhat awkward when it comes to the whole relationship thing and I wanted to just go on a date with her. Though after we met it fell into a wholly friendly thing. A geeky movie to make fun of and a little dinner. Of course as much as I had fun, I couldn’t let the lingering sexual tension just lie. I pulled out the old Jack seduction.

“Hey, I think we should kiss.”

Feel free to steal that gem, boys and girls.

She turned red and covered her face. “Really? Why?”

Adorable in her awkwardness. I really wanted to kiss her for most of the night. She has this bottom lip that protrudes deliciously, as if she is always pouting.

After a few minutes of debate she announced. “Ok. You can kiss me.”

It was hot in that I knew her so well and that lip was very fun to kiss. Plus I am genuinely attracted to her. Plus the fact that it was so awkward kind of turned me on.

It was chaste, though. A few kisses. I restrained my roaming hands, which was difficult seeing that she is ruthlessly buxom. My train came and I was pushed out of the car. Later I was told I had to go because a few more minutes and her clothes would have started coming off. Always nice for a boy to hear that he can inspire inappropriate behavior.

What’s funny is that she reads this. This is sort of my first direct recollection about something that happened that one of the participants will actually read. Somehow I don’t think it will be the last.

Hi.

Oh I can feel the blushing from here. Priceless.

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Fiction – The Strand


This is just silly, but it makes me feel sappy and warm inside. No sex, per se, but plenty of erotica. Meta-erotica?
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Fiction – The Barista

I’m sort of obsessed by this story. The beginning has been hanging around for a while now. I wrote the ending a while back. I had to sit down and force myself to figure out how to connect the two. With the help of a friend I got it. Let me know what you think.
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Getting to the Point

In trying to write a dirty little story with Miss Lilly from DangerousLilly I find myself being far too verbose for my own good. I can’t just jump into the action, I tend to get caught up with characters’ back stories and motivation and all that. Not that these are inherently bad things, it’s just that when you want to write about fucking and you spend 2 pages just getting to someone’s panties you have a problem.

Maybe I need to read more erotica. I went through a phase where read a lot of it. I had around ten of those Best American/Womens/Lesbian/Southern Erotica of 2000. Not to mention the essentials of Anais Nin, Venus in Furs,, The Story of O, what have you. Even the unbecoming Sleeping Beauty series and Belinda. I’ve been on the outs with published erotica for the past few years though. Reading online erotica from places like Literorica or StoriesOnline can be a mixed bag. You get some wonderful things but more often then not you lots of horribly written garbage. Often when you do get well written things they are far too dirty for their own good. This prickles my propensity to pen far to perverse things so I try and steer clear. Thus the reason I try not to read ASSM/ASSTR anymore.

I’ve sort of trained myself to write in a certain way and when I try and write straight sex my head gets confused and keeps yelling “who are these people and why are they on a train?”

Sadly this leads to a folder with dozens of sex stories with no sex in them.

That being said… does anyone have any kinks/scenarios/wet dreams/ideas they would want to read a story about?

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