I have a lot of thoughts floating around in my head. I went to the Kink for All NYC (KFANYC) today and although I was unable to present due to a rather serious family crisis I did catch the last few hours of the “unconference” and I enjoyed it a lot. Then again I was probably part of the minority who had never been to a “proper” sex conference so I don’t have much to compare it to, but I liked what I saw and heard.

I have been to a mix variety of kink related outings. Pleasure Salon and the such. Some more private little meet ups as well, but this was probably the biggest kink event I have been to. Surprisingly I felt very comfortable. In fact I would say I felt very much at home and very confident. I listened to intelligent people speak intelligently about gender, identity, sexuality, kink, BDSM, media and everything in-between. I saw a caning demo which was far more intriguing then I expected it to be. I was in general very enthralled with everything and everyone. It was exciting.

It left me with a lot of questions though. As much as I felt like I belonged there seemed to be a part of me that felt like an outsider. Almost everyone there was in some way queer and although I don’t know if I am exactly “straight” in every sense I don’t know if I am far enough from binary male/masculine to consider myself queer. There seems to be a large gap in the talks about the place of straight men in kink society other than johns, pornography consumers or roadblocks. I’m sure I am generalizing a lot, but that’s mostly how it felt.

I grew up in a feminist household with various types of queer folk around me, but I’m heterosexual or at least heteroflexible. At the same time I’ve read and researched a lot of gender theory and queer theory, so at times I find myself examining my masculinity in ways that butches might, but often other straight men don’t. At least not any I know, that is. I would go as far as to say that I have fetishized my straightness. Does that make sense?

Anyhow, just some thought that were floating around. Also thanks to any and all who read this blog and I apologize for it going unattended for a while. I have a lot of very hot stories on the burner, but life has been getting in the way. The economy and various unforeseen crises tend to suck out the drive to create. Of course let me repost an old message so as to remind my dear readers of how they can help inspire:

An Immodest Proposal

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. Well, in that case aren’t a thousand words worth a picture? If you like my stories, anecdotes, reviews and fiction then get out a camera and take a dirty picture for me. You can be as anonymous as you like, I don’t mind, I just ask that the picture be graphic. I need fuel for dirty stories, you know. Don’t worry, I’ll never show anyone. After all, I’m greedy and they are my payment for all these dirty words. Email them or comment with a link.