BLOG LIKE A PARODY OF YOURSELF DAY

Lord, people sicken me. I was walking by a Olive Garden and I couldn’t take the mediocracy of the plebeian masses anymore. This abomination to all that is good Italian food needed to be stopped, so I made a Moltov Cocktail out of 25 year old Scotch and burned the place to the ground.

Later that night after feasting on fois gras poutine and things you wouldn’t understand I went back to my amazing apartment (in Manhattan with exposed brick) and deconstructed a Goethe novel in the orignal German while drinking Blue Mountain espresso. Then my date stopped by, this extremely beautiful eighteen year old girl dressed in a school girl uniform. I gave her 417 orgasms. Then she brought three of her friends over and I fucked them all while they performed Joseph Haydn’s Quartet Opus 20 Number 4. I think I may have gotten lube on that one girl’s cello.

Later on I came while we listened to Heavy Vegitable by Slint and being fellated by all four of the girls at once.

I have to stop writing this now. I have amazing stories to finish.

Please keep sending me pictures of yourselves naked, after all I deserve them for blessing your minds with my art.