Happy Birthday to Me

Sometimes silly things can make you feel better. It hasn’t been a great birthday, to be honest. Still friends have made it better, a sweet girl made it better and all these people on the internet made it better. Because really, how can you not feel like an awesome rockstar when someone posts this:

Thanks to MistressLilyana and SensualSadist

I also posted this on my Buzz feed, but I liked it so much I am reposting it here.Today is my birthday. I have found I usually write things for other people. I write to seduce readers or to talk about a specific event involving someone or to explore some idea someone has inspired. Sure, I am always writing with my gaze, with my desires in the forefront, but I don’t often trust myself to write my actual fantasies. I have to to filter things through other characters. I also write scenarios and try to have at least some basis in the truth. (Alice in Wonderland smut aside.) I write as a way to communicate with readers, be they specific people or in general.

Well as a birthday exercise here is something just for me. Here is pure Jack fantasy.

Photo by jfravel/ / CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

Academia

Alright, so I am an English professor at a small, wealthy, prestigious, but relatively off the radar private college in Connecticut. I also coach the women’s field hockey team.

I learn of a rivalry between some of the girls on my team and a group of the library science students. The Women’s Library Science Study Group is lead by a pack of über geek girls, one of which is a five foot tall ginger haired hacker.

It turns out that cattiness and practical jokes that have been common have given way to more serious aggression as my field hockey girls (who are mostly tall and a little chubby and heavenly R. Crumb wet dreams) soon learn that the Women’s Library Science Study Group has hacked into their computers and found some very incriminating and shockingly explicit videos of the girls having a rather heated slumber party shenanigans involving liquor and all manner of sex toy.

Since my team means a lot to me, I have to step in as both an academic advisor and friend.

I train the girls over the course of a weekend in some covert tactics and takedown maneuvers. We then break into the dorms and silently abduct the Women’s Library Science Study Group bringing them back to my huge, luxurious loft. Thankfully the thick concrete walls make it nearly soundproof, which is nice when my math rock band practices on weekends.

We have the seven sleep eyed and frightened young librarian-to-bes tied up in fine Romanian hemp and immobile on one of the many rugs I purchased on my last trip to India. Their leader is suspended from a beam running across the ceiling and she is stares daggers at me.

I tell the eight members of my team to stand back and then proceed to torture the hacker girl until she tells me where all the copies of the video are. The flogger, the cane, various breast torture and eventually malicious teasing of her pussy get her to talk. I send out some of my girls to get back the info and then continue on, trying to find the root of the aggression.

I notice that watching the torture left my team on edge, all of them red faced and shifting in their seats with two of the more extroverted girls passionately kissing and fondling each other as they watched.

After interrogating the other LS students I find out that the hacker girl is in love with my main hooker, Simone, a French transfer who is certainly the most delicate on the team, but still very tough.

Simone, clad in thigh high socks and a skirt with a man’s cotton tank top, is shocked, saying that she had a crush on the hacker girl as well. The redhead, whose name is Kate, explains that she went over to Simone’s room one night to ask her out and found her masturbating to one of my many award winning books of erotica, screaming out my name as she climaxed. She thought that Simone was was in love with me and thus wouldn’t be interested in her.

Simone admitted having a crush on me, but explained that all the girls on the team had found out about my illustrious erotica publishing career and the various awards I had won and had started a secret book share. As well they had occasional orgies where they read my stories while fucking each other in every imaginable manner.

Simone went on to say that she was very interested in Kate and would have accepted a date with her. Simone’s love for me was purely sexual and intellectual.

We untie the young library science students, all of whom apologized for the blackmail plot and admitted that they all really enjoyed being tied up and beaten by me. They also admitted to loving my work and explain that most of their study sessions were actually group masturbation sessions about me and my writing.

The night descends into debauchery, the tension between the Girl’s Field Hockey Team and the Women’s Library Science Study Group transforming into sexual frenzy.

The librarians decide they need some pay back, so I help them tie up the field hockey girls and we proceed to punish them. Then everyone is untied and forms a giant sex pile. This goes on for hours and hours, a sexual whirlwind with me at the eye of the storm.

I keep going until I am spent, seven times over. I pass out on a bed of wet thighs, drenched in matriculating hormones.

I awaken with a start, my arms and legs bound. A wild eyed girl looking down at me with a smile just before my face is covered by a wet freshly waxed pussy. I am helpless as each girl uses me in turn, one riding my face while another rides my cock and all around me I hear the moans of those who are next being primed by their new friends.

Afterward I become the adviser to the Library Science Study Group and a sort of sexual guru to all of the girls. Fucking me becomes a rite of passage for pretty much all intelligent and/or field hockey proficient women in the school and a few select pretty boys as well.

Eventually I start my own erotica publication company, which I later mainstream into including edgy postmodern and supermodern works. The New York Times calls it “The most intriguing and provocative line of books in the last 20 years and the first to successfully merge erotica and literary fiction.”

I also start a bondage fight club. I move back to Manhattan and get a huge Brownstone in the Park Slope.

I die at 80, drown in the Seine by a jealous lover, or so the papers write.