Category — Reviews

The big list of Best Sex Toy Reviewers of 2008 is up and I’m #21 with a bullet! GET IT!?

Cough.

Best Sex Toy Reviewers is an annual list compiled by Domina Doll and Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek. Only reviewers who reviewed during the year of 2008 were considered, there will be a list for 2009 next year.

Each reviewer was rated separately by two people (Domina Doll and Scarlet Lotus did not rate themselves, their second rating came from a third party). The ratings were on a scale of one to five in four areas: Content, Organization, Originality, and Regularity. Each reviewer got a score out of 20 by each person and then the scores were put together to make a final score out of 40. Those final scores were ranked from high to low to get the list below

There were many ties. In cases where reviewers had nominations the number of nominations were the deciding factor for the ties. In cases where reviewers had the same number of nominations Domina Doll and Scarlet Lotus decided the order.

We recognize that this list is highly subjective. This is in no way a definitive list of reviewers, it is simply our list, and you can do with it as you will. We did use finite measurements, as discussed above, to create this list, but ultimately it is our own list. However, lists are fun to have and be able to point to.

1. Essin’ Em
2. Domina Doll
3. Beautiful Dreamer
4. Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek
5. Epiphora
6. Gabe and Elizabeth
7. Sinclair Sexsmith
8. Catalina Loves
9. Agent Ansley
10. Betty Rocket
11. Carnivalesq
12. J.D. Bauchery
13. Toygirl
14. Thursday’s Child
15. Dame Demi
16. Shay
17. Shasta Gibson
18. AlwaysArousedGirl
19. Freddy and Eddy
20. Dangerous Lilly
21. Jack
22. Erin Leone
23. Sleeping Dreamer
24. Ellie Lumpesse
25. Wendy Blackheart
26. Ducky Doolittle
27. Curvaceous Dee
28. The Porn Librarian
29. Lux Alptraum
30. Kyle
31. Naughty Secretary
32. Monkey
33. Nadia West
34. Alpine Subdreams
35. Bulma
36. Radical Vixen
37. The Beautiful Kind
38. Toys for Tarts
39. Sienna
40. Audacia Ray
41. Mariella
42. Ang
43. Lucy Vonne
44. Holden
45. Coy Pink
46. Backseat Boohoo
47. Bad Bad Girl
48. Jimbo Jones
49. Tess
50. BOX: Les Petites Morts
51. Zephyrine
52. N
53. Phaedra Fallen
54. Jiz Lee
55. Alisa
56. Syntax
57. Panthera Pardus
58. Red
59. Sommer Marsden
60. Mollena
61. The Countess
62. Adriana
63. Madeline Glass
64. Hussy Red
65. Trouble
66. Roxy
67. Sexorcism
68. Roxanne Rhoads
69. Amber
70. Roxi
71. Kinkerbelle
72. Sylvanus and Mina
73. Dark Lady
74. Sex Is Fun
75. Adrie Santos

We scoured the internet for reviewers. Pleasurists was a great source of reviewers, but it was not the only source, as many of the reviewers above have never participated in a Pleasurists. If you are not on the list and you reviewed in 2008 the chances are we simply did not know about you and couldn’t find you in our many searches.

Honorable mention goes to sites who weren’t included due to multiple reviewers such as Xcritic, Best Sex Toy Review, Sex Herald, and the many reviewers on EdenFantasys.

Domina Doll and Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek are teaming up to put together the (first annual?) Best Sex Toy Reviewers List for 2008 which will be featured right here on Pleasurists!

We know a lot of reviewers, but we don’t know all of you out there, so that’s where you come in! We have many reviewers in mind already, but we are also looking for nominations from you all to give us a good idea of who you think is fit to be on the list of the best sex toy reviewers of 2008!

The nomination information:

• You can’t nominate yourself, but feel free to (and please do!) re-post this on your blog, that way your readers may want to nominate you for the list.
• If someone is already nominated you can nominate them as well. The nominations someone receives may factor in to the final listing, so nominate everyone, even if someone’s already mentioned them.
• To qualify the person must have reviews up (well, obviously). Preferably multiple reviews not just one or two.
• You can nominate as many reviewers as you’d like, but please keep in mind this is a list of the best of the best. So, try to give me the absolute best five or ten reviewers rather than a huge long list.
• Nominations are open until January 25th at 11:59pm PST and the list of reviewers will be posted January 31st.

Nominate your choices in the comments of this post! Or, if you would prefer your nominations to be private feel free to send an email to scarletsexgeek at gmail dot com.

Have you enjoyed my reviews? You can nominate me here!

There are a lot of things in my life that can use improvement, I freely admit this. One thing, dare I say the only thing, in my life that I thought I had perfected it was masturbation.

Unlike many women I know most men have it down pat. Sure the female sex blogging community are usually able to get themselves off easily, but a lot of girls I know have trouble. Every guy I know can make themselves come in a good minute and a half. Why would we need to masturbatory toy?

Well, there is the prostate, given, but that is a whole different catagory. There are a variety of new sensation that a dude can explore, but we surely don’t need help with the actual jerking off part, do we?

I’m a “masturbator” n00b, obviously. I’ve never used a sleeve of any kind. No fleshlight for me. What do I need with that?

Enter, The Maven. No seriously, enter one, they rock.

I’d never heard of elastomer, but apparently is it this silky cushy soft polymer that is phthalate-free and hypoallergenic. It’s porous, so it’s pretty much just a toy for one… though I’m not sure why you would want to share it unless you were putting on a show for someone.

I like the material, but it sort of never gets totally dry once you use lube and wash it off. It is very easy to clean, though. You just use it and then flip it inside out and wash it with soap and water. I keep it wrapped in paper towels between uses.

I use a little Astroglide, but any water based lube will do.

Ok, so how does it feel? Well, it certainly isn’t as good as sex, but it is better than your hand. The softness is interesting, like a blow job from someone with soft lips. That sounded a lot creepier than I wanted it to.

We are men, we don’t need pretty adjectives. The thing is affordable as sex toys go and it lasts a long time and it feel really good and it also reduces cleanup. You use it and then you take it to the bathroom and turn it inside out and wash it out. Fun!

I put a little dress on mine and I am planning on introducing it to my mom soon.

The Maven is not going to change your life, but it may change the way you masturbate or at least give you an interesting change of pace.

Three and a half stars!

I feel like I need to talk about something I found a month ago that has changed my sex life more than anything in the last ten years.

The right condom.

I never really had a big problem with condoms. They were just a thing I had to used unless I was in a serious monogamous relationship and my partner was on some form of birth control. I thought I was buying good ones. I got various Trojans, usually just the lubricated ones in the blue package. I never really thought about it, which come to think of it was odd since I think about everything else having to do with sex far too much.

In the past I had a few experiences where I tried to put on a condom and it just didn’t work. It got stuck half way on and wouldn’t roll anymore. Then I try and pull at it, hold the tip, roll it back a little and then try again. By then my hands are covered in lube and my erection is withering.

I curse. I makeout a little, fool around and get out of my head. I try a new one, but now the pressure is on.

For some reason in the last few months this started happening a lot more. Also a few times I noticed that the condom felt way tighter on my cock, especially around the middle. It got a little painful sometimes.

Now, I have a average sized cock. It is normal and I am happy with it. I have been told it is a little thick but I don’t think it is girthy enough to need some kind of extra large condom. Still these problems were getting annoying so I decided to try a few new ones.

I tried the Trojan Extra Sensitive and liked that one even less than the regular kind. I tried a regular lubricated Lifestyle, which felt very similarly to the Trojan and I even tried a non latex condom when I was with a girl who was allergic to latex and didn’t like that one at all.

So I did a little research. I went on a few sites that had condom reviews. I found that Durex seemed to test very well, especially the Extra Sensitive and the Love varieties.

I couldn’t find the Love so I settled on the Extra Sensitive. From the first go I found they slipped on far more easily that any other I have used. The sex was way better, smoother, it felt more like bareback sex. Also my partners seemed to get less sore and these condoms didn’t smell like latex.

I am so excited I ordered a hundred of the Durex Love condoms.

These new condoms combined with the bottle of Sliquid I got at the calendar party have made for a new world of sex. I swear the sex has been so good I haven’t even had any time to tie anyone up!

The Silver Bullet.

For $12.95 how can you go wrong with this little extremely portable vibe? It just works for simple clitoral stimulation. It is portable. It takes AA batteries.

I sort of think what would make it perfect was if it were metal, not just metal looking plastic. It would be easier to clean and last forever.

Still it is a good go to toy and perfect for travel and secret sneaky fun.

I give the The Silver Bullet three out of five stars, because although it works well it really isn’t anything to write home about.

Climax Bursts Anal Lube

To be frank, I really seem to have bad luck with fucking girls in the ass. A couple have said it has to do with my girth, but really I don’t think my cock is that thick. I’ve always heard the keys are getting the girl (or boy) to relax, taking it slow, and lube lube lube.

Enter Climax Bursts Anal Lube. It is a slippery watery lube that is distinctly not oily. The little bubbles of vitamin E give it a slightly gritty feel, but only for a second until the bubbles burst.

I still haven’t had that much anal sex, but it certainly has helped paying around back there. More so than other lubes I have seen with the possible exception of Sliquid.

I give it four out of five stars.

Selection
Out of all the aspects of this site, selection is sextoy.com’s strongest characteristic. My favorite brands like Lelo, Fun Factory, njoy and Liberator are all there. There are all kinds of glass, silicon, metal and other safe material toys. They sell condoms, lube of every imaginable kind and they have a pretty impressive bondage gear catalog. Everything from extremely inexpensive rubber dildos to the best stainless steal wirelessly rechargeable ergonomic vibrators.

They also sell clothing, have a partnership with a video on demand site and a chat room.

Design
Well, here sextoy is a bit lacking, but then again in my opinion so are most sex toy sites. The good thing is that the grid structure of each page of toys is pretty clean. There are decent sized thumbnails of the products, the price and the name.

I think a major overhaul of the design of this site would do a lot. They should pick a specific and distinguishable design concept and color scheme that will separate them from the pack and go all the way with it.

Price
I picked three well known products and compared the prices of sextoy.com, a random competitive sex toy site and the cheapest price I could find on the item by just spending five minutes on google.

Curve
sextoy.com: $64.17
other sex toy shop #2: $63.95
amazon.com: $70.89

Hitachi Magic Wand
sextoy.com: $44.50
other sex toy shop #2: $41.36
drugstore.com: $39.95

We Vibe
sextoy.com: $129.95
other sex toy shop #2: #130.00
amazon.com: $89.08

I think sextoy.com is pretty competitive. They have a bevy of very affordable sex toys I haven’t seen on other sites and for most major toys they are within a few dollars of the other major sex toy sites.

Ordering
It is pretty easy to order. I made a test order of 100 Durex Love Condoms. You have to set up an account and put in all of your information and click a few too many ok’s but I suppose that is better than accidentally buying something you don’t want.

Incidentally the condoms were the same price as they were on condomdepot, which I think is pretty competitive.

Community/Philosophy
Unlike some other sites I frequent there are a few questionable things about this company. There is a “meds” section which is a link to a site called “bringbackyouvigor.com” that sells viagra and other drugs. sextoy.com also sell products made of jelly, rubber and other unsafe materials. Both of these things are understandable and not particularly bad, but are a strike against them for me personally compared to more sex positive and commUNITY positive sites.

I think sextoy.com’s recent interest in bloggers and their reaching out for reviews is certainly a big step forward in this category.

In the name of full disclosure I should tell you that sextoy.com is paying me for this review. I think I’ve been pretty fair with the review just like I am with all my reviews. I even spent most of what they are paying me on the actual site, so I am looking at it as just another product review.

The Titus, The Toy I Don’t Get

I am an anal toy novice, admittedly. I have had some success with the Sensual Bulb (which is not specifically for the bum, but works well there), in fact I sort of like that one. I decided a while back to try the other toy I received for that area and frankly I just don’t get this one.

The Titus is a rather small black hard plastic toy shaped in a sort of Y shape similarly to the Aneros, but with fewer curves and more ridges. First of all I think it is far too small to do anything. It is hard plastic, which is very uncomfortable. The ridges make it difficult and almost painful to insert and pull out. When the world of sex toys is full of such wonderful things like silicone why would you have this hard plastic… thing?

Also I may be missing the point because I have no idea what the little silver ball is for. I know it is supposed to sit on your perineum and sort of massage it, but that did nothing for me.

Looking at the Titus, considering the material and the size, I can’t understand why it is as expensive as it is.

It is certainly possible that I am not using it to its full extent or maybe I just don’t have a particularly sensitive “p-spot” or perhaps it is higher up or lower down or something, but I don’t get this toy.

I gave the Titus a college try. A few college tries. Then again I gave a few colleges a try so perhaps I am not that bright.

One star. So for this has been the only thing I’ve received from vibereview.com that I haven’t really enjoyed, but I think that might be more about me than the toy.

The Miracle Massager.

It all seems to come back to the Hitachi, doesn’t it? Everything I ever read about the Miracle Massager on VibeReview and other sites seems to be divided into whether it is better than the Hitachi or worse than the Hitachi. How it is shaped better, but isn’t as strong.

Let’s put aside the Hitachi. I have used it a few times on a few girls, so I do have some experience, but let’s talk about the Miracle Massager in its own right.

The Miracle Massager is a high powered vibrator/body massager. It has a large but nicely shaped black body which has nice grips, an easy to find bright red power switch (with high and low settings) and a large bulbous vibrating head.

Like all good toys, in my opinion, it only does one thing and it does it well. It vibrates. You can’t insert it anywhere (at least not very easily), it doesn’t rotate, it doesn’t hit three or four parts of you at the same time. You put it on your clit and it makes you come. I know there are other ways of using it, but for all intents and purposes that’s it.

It works. It is not mind numbing over the top vibrations, but it is more than most toys. The head is big but you can still fit a condom on it easily, which is a good idea because otherwise it is a pain to clean.

I was able to help a girl achieve a mind blowing, squirting, babblingly incoherent orgasm several times in an hour with this baby and so is in my go-to box.

It is also very good for forced orgasm play, or so I have dabbled with. I have a good feeling it will work very well once I get the proper equipment.

If they made this toy with a removable silicone head I would say it would be perfect.

I am going to give the Miracle Massager four out of five stars.

We went out on the town for the day, but the whole time it was waiting there back at my apartment and in the back of my head.

A few hours before I met Mariella I removed the Under the Bed Restraints from it’s package, lifted up my mattress and set it up. The black restraints against my plain white sheets were stark and imposing. It was a stage set for something very interesting.

Mariella and I went around town. A picnic, some drinks, fun times in the summertime. She knew what was in store, in fact I had told her every detail out my little fantasy days before.

It was interesting having such a dichotomy within one day. The cooing and hand holding, walking through the park, meeting friends and so on. Later that night it would be so very different. Hands not held, but held down. Where she was once wrapped in hugs, she would be soon wrapped in taut nylon. The amazing thing is that we can go into both with the same care and emotion.

But enough of that mushy stuff, let’s get down to the nitty gritty.

Walking into my apartment she didn’t even really look at my bed at first. We were still high on the sweet air of the day. Kissing and pushing against walls, all those things that are familiar but constantly new. The lushness of her body and all the things it does to me.

She wore a lovely dress with no panties and the whole day I had felt the delicious curve of her hip and the unhindered smoothness of her ass through the fabric. Finally after wanting it all day I was able to pull up that skirt and see that perfect tan-lined hairless triangle that haunts my dreams. I touched her and felt hours of built up heat and wetness and it made me wince with pleasure.

She does this thing that drives me crazy. We will kiss and suddenly she will turn away. She gets this little sneaky mischievous little smirk and it turns me into an animal. Suddenly I am on top of her trying to kiss her, but she turns and pushes me away. When I finally pin her down and catch her lips, the kiss is wild and almost overpowering.

After that I stood up, took her hand, and brought her to the bed. I took off what was left of her clothes. I put two pillows on the center of the bed and laid her over them on her belly. She didn’t fight when I stretched her arms up and opened each wrist restraint and closed them on those pretty wrists I’d held so tight and pushed into pillow or mattress.

I kissed her shoulder and moved down to her legs and took each ankle and put them in the restraints. Nothing was that tight, but it kept her legs apart and her arms from moving too much. I was new to this thing, I really wasn’t sure what to do first.

I stood back and looked at my work. The pillow under her lower stomach pushed her ass up perfectly. With her legs spread every part of her was exposed to me.

There is something decadent about having a girl like this, especially this girl. Crossed legs and dim lights, sheets and panties, busy hands and blushing embarrassment, all these things tend to get in the way of getting a lovely full-on look at a girl’s bits. Now that she was mine, tied up perfectly, I got to look. I got to explore.

There are a lot of philosophies and strategies to being dominant. I’ve read about them, I’ve tried a lot of them. A lot of it has to do with self control. Frankly I probably don’t have enough of that. I don’t think I am a particularly good dom, I sort of hate most formality when it comes to names and titles and I even dislike a lot of them.

I my hand moved over her legs and my nails scratched at her back leaving long red marks. As my hand stopped on top of her ass I felt the resilient, fresh skin of it and the desire inside of me started getting wilder and hungrier.

I spanked her hard. Then again. Then three times in a row sharp and fast knowing that the rapid succession gets her every time. She tried to crawl away but couldn’t.

She moaned and squirmed and I wanted her. As she squirmed she pushed back, her hips higher and her sex open to me. I got off the bed, letting her see that I was getting a condom so she would know what I was going to do. I couldn’t help it, I had to just kneel between her open legs and slip into her. She was too perfect there, like a candy on a table. I needed to just taste.

She gasped as I pushing into her slowly and deliberately, sinking into wet tightness. Every cell in my body sighed at once. Then I was pushing in harder, then thrusting again and again. It was a little difficult with her on her belly and her legs spread. The angle wasn’t quite right. I stopped, breathing hard, head buzzing with the pure pleasure of being inside of her.

Then I went to the box.

It nice to have a specific little box for your toys and implements. This one is a big yellow box on the night stand next to my bed. In this box is all of my best toys. They had all been cleaned and readied.

I bent over her, pushed the hair out of her eyes, whispered in her ear and asked her if everything was ok. She said yes, but she wondered if the restraints could be tighter. I let out a dark chuckle.

I pulled her legs apart and tightened the straps. I moved them from the bottom corners of the bed to the sides of the bed and she let out a little “wow” as I really spread her out and tied her down. I moved her arms to the sides of the bed too and tightened them until she couldn’t raise her arms from the mattress.

I was getting that power surge. The smile that won’t come off and the predatory eyes.

I plugged in the Miracle Massager and set it down next to her. I took out the Curve and the Sensual Bulb and cracked my knuckles.

My fantasy was to own every part of her. I wanted to fill her up and make her cum and use every inch of her. I fingered her roughly as I poured lube on the Sensual Bulb and on my fingers.

When I touched her ass with one hand as I fingered her with the other she let out a throaty groan. Her body tensed. We are sex positive people, whatever, it’s still dirty, raunchy, forbidden. I rubbed and

flexed my fingers in her, then I brought up the wet glass smoothness and twisted and pushed.

The thing about the Sensual Bulb is that when it is finally in you just see the pretty flared end with the purple butterfly. Perfect.

The sounds are almost the best parts. Whimpers and moans and whispered pleadings.

When I lubed up the Curve and slipped that into her she started gasping and making shaky overwhelmed gasps for air. I watched her hands ball into fists and pull against the restraints in the most lovely way.

When I added the Miracle Massager there wasn’t as much of a change in her attitude as I thought.

I tried to set up the Miracle Massager, but I will have to come up with some kind of way to hold it to her clit.

I left her filled up and went around to the other side of the bed and pushed my cock towards her mouth. This was the real fantasy, having her filled up, tied down and squirming and sucking my cock. Every hole used and abused.

After a while I realized I wanted a better position. I wanted her really bound. I put Mariella on her side right in the middle of the bed, hands behind her back bound with the wrist restraints. I bound her ankles together with he ankle restraints and then I moved the Under the Bed Restraints to the center of the bed and brought the fasteners to their tightest level. I tied her hands to one side and her ankles to the other. I also got some other restraints I had and tied her legs together at the knees.

I took the Miracle Massager and stuck it between her bound legs with it pressed against her clit. It wasn’t going anywhere. Then I went to work with the Curve on her.

It was crazy. The vibrations were intense and focused, I was fucking her hard and fast with the Curve and she was in a completely other state. When she started squirting she pushed the Curve completely out of her.

When I took it’s place I barraged her with filthy names and rough words. She was mine and she was used in every way. I fucked her hard and fast like that, spanking her and holding her hips tight.

Later when I gently undid every Velcro latch, laid next to her, soothed her and kissed her as she came down, it was pure bliss.

Catharsis, orgasm, emotional release. The stress of the week gone and only wet skin and the smell of sex and sweet kisses remained.