Posts from — July 2008

Anyone else going to this?
CineKink’s Tawdry Summer Tryst
August 5, 2008, 8pm
The Red Room @ KGB Complex
85 E. Fourth Street (@ Second)

Seems interesting. Just wondering if anyone else out there will be there so I can nervously gravitate towards you and make awkward conversation.

Mister McIntyre part 4 up tomorrow.

Fuck, I love the imediacy of serialized fiction. I think I have to go back and fix the tense of the first two parts. I was half in present hand sort of flickering into past which was just annoying. Past just makes it easier. Abigail the character is crystalizing more and more. Damn I like writing in this setting. A suit is so much more powerful than leather. [Read more →]

I have no idea where this is going. Man Men obsession and being really horny are making it hard to concentrate. I think I know where I want it to go, but getting there is going to take some work.
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So I’m obsessed with the show Mad Men. I work in advertising (in a round about way) and my father was an ad man. The world of the early 60′s business man is so rich with power dynamics and sexism and sexuality and dominance. It is as much of a bondage fantasy world as those books about island of ponyboys and leather goddesses.
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It’s sort of sad when your ex-girlfriend cum fuck buddy (The Musician)tells you she can’t come over for sex and snacks anymore.

In the end I know she will find a nice boy and settle down. Probably she is already on her way.

If she does have a lapse in judgement before then…

*

Friday night drink with a certain female sex blogger was canceled due to scheduling issues. Sad, but a five minute phone call was an oddly potent assurance of attraction. For me at least. Oh well, I can wait. Hunger is the best pickle, as they say.

*

Saturday was an interesting day. I went out with someone I have known for something like six or seven years, but never actually met. We cyber geeks have such acquaintances. Meeting her was oddly comfortable. Falling into a familiar banter, knowing each other’s faces if only vaguely.

She is a long train ride away, but close enough to visit somewhat regularly.

We have had an interesting friendship. Usually just two media geeks chatting about this or that, but occasionally conversations become somewhat racy. Perhaps even downright naughty.

This meeting was proposed as a “date” seeing that she is somewhat awkward when it comes to the whole relationship thing and I wanted to just go on a date with her. Though after we met it fell into a wholly friendly thing. A geeky movie to make fun of and a little dinner. Of course as much as I had fun, I couldn’t let the lingering sexual tension just lie. I pulled out the old Jack seduction.

“Hey, I think we should kiss.”

Feel free to steal that gem, boys and girls.

She turned red and covered her face. “Really? Why?”

Adorable in her awkwardness. I really wanted to kiss her for most of the night. She has this bottom lip that protrudes deliciously, as if she is always pouting.

After a few minutes of debate she announced. “Ok. You can kiss me.”

It was hot in that I knew her so well and that lip was very fun to kiss. Plus I am genuinely attracted to her. Plus the fact that it was so awkward kind of turned me on.

It was chaste, though. A few kisses. I restrained my roaming hands, which was difficult seeing that she is ruthlessly buxom. My train came and I was pushed out of the car. Later I was told I had to go because a few more minutes and her clothes would have started coming off. Always nice for a boy to hear that he can inspire inappropriate behavior.

What’s funny is that she reads this. This is sort of my first direct recollection about something that happened that one of the participants will actually read. Somehow I don’t think it will be the last.

Hi.

Oh I can feel the blushing from here. Priceless.

This is just silly, but it makes me feel sappy and warm inside. No sex, per se, but plenty of erotica. Meta-erotica?
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I’m sort of obsessed by this story. The beginning has been hanging around for a while now. I wrote the ending a while back. I had to sit down and force myself to figure out how to connect the two. With the help of a friend I got it. Let me know what you think.
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In trying to write a dirty little story with Miss Lilly from DangerousLilly I find myself being far too verbose for my own good. I can’t just jump into the action, I tend to get caught up with characters’ back stories and motivation and all that. Not that these are inherently bad things, it’s just that when you want to write about fucking and you spend 2 pages just getting to someone’s panties you have a problem.

Maybe I need to read more erotica. I went through a phase where read a lot of it. I had around ten of those Best American/Womens/Lesbian/Southern Erotica of 2000. Not to mention the essentials of Anais Nin, Venus in Furs,, The Story of O, what have you. Even the unbecoming Sleeping Beauty series and Belinda. I’ve been on the outs with published erotica for the past few years though. Reading online erotica from places like Literorica or StoriesOnline can be a mixed bag. You get some wonderful things but more often then not you lots of horribly written garbage. Often when you do get well written things they are far too dirty for their own good. This prickles my propensity to pen far to perverse things so I try and steer clear. Thus the reason I try not to read ASSM/ASSTR anymore.

I’ve sort of trained myself to write in a certain way and when I try and write straight sex my head gets confused and keeps yelling “who are these people and why are they on a train?”

Sadly this leads to a folder with dozens of sex stories with no sex in them.

That being said… does anyone have any kinks/scenarios/wet dreams/ideas they would want to read a story about?

A lazy weekend. I found this story in my files and reworked it a bit. This is more of an “erotica story” than a vignette or confession or what ever I the things I have been posting are called. I’d love to know what you think.
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I recently had an interesting conversation with Lumpesse about internet identities and specifically sex blog identity.

At 32 I’ve been a pretty active watcher and member of the various online sex related subcultures. Not to say I was “part” of these subcultures, but I was aware of them, I watched them and occasionally I interacted with them. BDSM, erotica, LGBT, poly, Fan Fiction/Slash, all kinds of fetishes, henti, furry, you name it. I have certainly not been active in a lot of these groups, I’m definitely not into half those kinks, but I have watched them with facination. Back in the heady days of BBS’s and MoDems you put batteries in, to back when AOL was 1337. I have always been on Usenet, the single greatest place to get porn and find weirdness to this day. I am a firm believer in Rules 34 and 35 and I have watched them in action for more than half my life.

As for online identities, I’ve had more than a few. AOL chat room names back when I was in my teens. Changing my name, my age, sometimes even my gender. I had the prerequisite online romances, cybersex encounters, even awkward hookups. I am a child of the internet, it gives me information, entertainment and sex even now.

The problem comes when I started growing up and I realized that I have a more and more fragmented identity, online and IRL. I made friends online and off that knew certain sides of me and I tend to keep them separate. Sometimes worlds would collide by choice or happenstance and I would freak out.

Growing up I realize this was even true in my family because my parents divorced when I was an infant and thus I had two separate families that never spoke and whom in a lot of ways knew very different Jacks.

In relationships the same things tended to happen. I would have a girlfriend and we would be very vanilla and I was fine with that. We would break up and I would be with a girl that would be a practically 24/7 power exchange and I was just as happy with that, though somewhere in the middle was where I was happiest.

About two years ago I started posting very dirty stories on various forums online. I had a rather large following, mostly made up of rather creepy people. Still I liked having this little give and take. Posting things in that manner brought immediate and almost always positive feedback which is ego crack to someone like me.

About a year in I met the Librarian and we had this insanely passionate relationship. It started with a Craig’s list hook up that turned into this love affair type thing. She was very fond of the few pieces of writing I showed her and out of curiosity she decided to hunt down other things. A couple of the stories she found squicked her and I think it was one of the contributing factors that ended the relationship.

One of the many reasons why I only tell people and show people what I know they can handle.

These days, though, I’m getting tired of separating things. I find my circle of friends gets smaller as I cut off the people I don’t feel I can tell things, though my friendships get stronger with the people I actually trust.

On the other side, I like having secrets. I like having different identities. I even like having the ability to close out whole identities and start new ones up on a whim. It’s one of the many things that make the internet great. As I get older online friendships don’t really appeal to me as much. I tend to meet people online and then press to meet them in person because real life is a lot more fulfilling. Knowing real people and having real friendships make separate lives a lot more messy.

Does this happen to anyone else? How many people in your life know about your sex blog or fetish or kink? How much do you tell a new lover and when and has anyone ever reacted badly? Has anyone ever found you out?