Posts from — September 2008

Crack. The sound echos. It makes your ears perk up a little.

So I’m at Pleasure Salon with a variety of people. I got this little paddle delivered to my office so it was sitting in my messenger back and I couldn’t help but take it out and show it off. There is something wonderfully playful and serious about the Fetish Double Slapper. It’s a lovely jet black faux leather with a studded handle, so it is kind of bad ass. Still, it has a heart cut out, which shows a playful side. If I were a sex toy I think I would be the Fetish Double Slapper Paddle by Topco.

The simple brilliance of the design of this paddle is the two layers of faux leather that slap together as you whack your target. Not to say that this toy doesn’t pack a real stinging punch, but the bark is worse than the bite, which is often ideal when you want a lot of theatrical sound without really making a bottom bruised.

Anyhow, at this party there are a few bare asses walking around and since I was playing with this lovely toy a few of them did make their way to my table. Being the generous person I am (and also because I was sitting in the middle) I handed the paddle off to Wendy Blackheart. She gave Selina Fire a few swats and even in a crowded room with music and laughing and flirting the sound cut through and more than a few heads came up to look where the sound was coming from.

Well, I was sold. I couldn’t wait to try it for real. I think the question that comes up the minute you get it in your hand is “does it make heart shaped marks?” The answer is yes!

It isn’t a particularly cruel item. The shape and the nature of the toy sort of impede real beatings, but it is fun and it is sexy. It gives a stinging “wake up” spank and leaves a nice red mark with a little heart.

On top of all that it is a very inexpensive toy. It is well made, in fact I can imagine having it for a long time. Leaving it about will instantly tell a partner or perspective parter a whole lot of things at once. You are kinky, you like to spank (or be spanked) and you are also fun and playful.

Thanks Eden Fantasy for letting me test out and review this little bad boy. Check out all of their fun toys!

I’m pretty happy, because I am so new to this game. I was voted #71 in the 2008 Sexy Bloggers poll. Fun.

The top five are all awesome people, by the way. Congratulations to them all, especially Sinclair and Ellie!

Don’t worry kids, the angsty self analysis will be short lived and Mister McIntyre’s Secret Part 9 is on it’s way.

I’ve been on this wild dating and sexing roller coaster for about 14 months now. Roughly since the day I ended the six year relationship I was in from 25-31 with… let’s call her The Girl Professor. Not that before that relationship I was a prude by any means, I had some interesting times and I got around, but you know something is different when in the last year you have slept with as many women as all the years before combined. I’d say that’s a change in the status quo.

So many dates, some with new people, some second or third dates, some with the sort of long term friends you make when you are in this kind of run. It’s certainly not all sex, to be sure, but it is all interesting. The constant state of arousal, the flirting from so many directions. New people all the time and new kisses. New bodies and new secrets. I fell into two relationships in that time, each lasting a few months. Both were wildly intense and full of amazing conversation, fun and probably some of the best sex of our lives.

I read stories of emotionless sex, zipless fucks, random group play and in most cases it leaves me cold. I like intense connections. I like learning someone’s secrets and knowing their bodies and kissing and touching for hours. If it isn’t intense then why bother. If it doesn’t make me happy then I’d rather skip it. At the same time I can imagine a plaything, someone to be a pet and to just have fun with. So many relationships seem to move so quickly. People wanting different things. Sometimes I wish for something completely superficial. Someone I can try out all my fun toys on and make moan and cry. A pet. I am ambivalent about the whole thing, no one ever seems to  stay emotionally where they say they will, including me.

Lately I have been entering new terrain. I am seeing people whose sex lives are much more public. I mean obviously I am dating on NYC, I know we all have lives and I never presume monogamy, but you don’t ask don’t tell and are completely for each other when you are together. Sex bloggers and other internet savvy loud mouths (I mean this is the nicest way since I am both) make their sex lives much more public, this means one is forced to read and think about things he doesn’t necessarily want to read and think about.

A friend said something that has been rumbling in my head for a while now. When talking to her about the various dramas going on and what I am doing to belay them she told me that I was learning how to “process jealousy”. Now I tend to take phrases like that and roll my eyes, but I realize more and more that it is exactly what I am learning to do.

I’ve never been a particularly jealous person, that is until I was cheated on. When my long relationship with The Girl Professor ended suddenly and very violently. I’m a grownup, I know infidelity (when in agreed monogamy) is a symptom of a relationship that is already over, not the cause of that ending. It wasn’t the sex either, I am a sexual person and I can understand passion even inappropriate passion, it was the love. She fell in love with someone else (or at least convinced herself of such) and that ruined me for a long time.

This was the first time I was cheated on and my reaction was not what I expected. First of all I became repulsed by her. I’d never been into any cuckold type fantasies, but as much as I couldn’t understand them before now they confuse the shit out of me. I didn’t even want to be in the same room as her. Actually I sort of made she we wouldn’t be in the same time zone, which is working out for the best for everyone involved.

I also became uncontrollably angry at the guy, which is very unlike me. I was dreaming of hunting him down and beating him. Literally I would have dreams I was hitting him with a bat. These are the two reactions jealousy has on me, rage and disgust. Not conducive to an ongoing relationship.

Now I find myself trying to work through these feelings, even find to positive aspects of them. I see people I like and trust and watch how they play as a couple and apart. I think about my feeling and why I want to see other people and then thing about my partners and how their intentions are probably similar. It seems like a majority of the feelings are fear that your lover will leave you and when you realize that if that person left it would mean a whole lot about them and where your relationship was… it makes taking the chance seem brave rather than foolish.

But I am rambling. All I know is that for the last year I have woken up happier. Food tastes better and book make more sense. I feel like I am in love all the time, even while I walk around in mortal fear of that word and all of its inky implications. I feel like an adventurer and I feel like I am alive. I don’t see that changing any time soon.

I do feel myself moving in certain directions. Favoring certain people. I don’t know what that will mean or what I am willing to do for that. I don’t know how long I am willing to keep certain people at a distance so that I can keep up this lifestyle. I’m not really worried anymore though. As long as everyone is honest things seem to work out. You just have to ask for what you want and it is almost shocking how often you get it.

Subway intimacies are wonderful little amusements when you are living a life that is amplified. The little accidental meetings of eyes or occidental faux pas. Reading each others newspapers or coming face to face with ample cleavage. The bump and grind of start and stop trains and the forced sardine meetings of strangers. Innocent intimacies must go unacknowledged by most but not to me.

I am helpless to record the ceremonial reactions of the morning after couple in the little two seat bench at the end of the car. She is slightly embarrassed by her somewhat messy hair. He is both proud of himself and sort of straining to get away. Still his hand finds her knee and her eyes close briefly.

The voyeur doesn’t have to stand in the closet or peek through the curtains. Dodging eyes and stolen kisses can be as breathtaking as watching wicked acts.

And now for something completely different. I write a lot of different kinds of stories. This one is a bit darker, a bit rougher, a bit farther from reality. A shy girl who get pushed around.
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I am looking for ideas for erotic short stories. If you have a senario, a situation, a character, a kink, a scene or just a concept or image you would like me to write about then please either comment here or send me an email.

For the writing prompt “outdoors” though being a city boy this was as outdoors as I tend to get. I wrote this in bits and pieces. I do love my iPhone and the ability to write on the go. One more prompt that I think will be a continuation of this one.
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